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Vulnerability is…

There has been a lot of talk around vulnerability lately.

I blame Brené Brown.

Okay, not JUST Brené Brown, but she’s probably the most famous one at this point. She gives talks about vulnerability all the time. They are really, really good talks. She speaks from the heart. She lays bare all her flaws. She challenges everyone else to do the same.

And people love it. And they love her. And everyone leaves promising themselves and each other that they will be more vulnerable to get past that fear, that they will have a strong back and a soft front, because there is power in vulnerability.

Then people go back to their daily lives, where there a whole bunch of other people who have never heard of Brené Brown who think vulnerability is a weakness and that you have to suck it up and show a brave face. And so, the idea of living a life of true vulnerability (like Brené Brown) is abandoned. It just seems too daunting and overwhelming, and besides – just getting through the workday is hard enough without worrying about whether you were vulnerable enough, right?

Here’s the thing – I think most people live lives of vulnerability all the time, just in different ways. They don’t call attention to it, they just do it.

Vulnerability is….

  • Standing up for a coworker
  • Just eating the damn cake without apologizing for it
  • Crying when you’re upset
  • Sharing when you’re nervous
  • Wearing that red pair of shoes because you feel amazing in them
  • Dressing up for Halloween, even though the “cool kids” will make fun of you
  • Reading a romance novel at lunch in the cafeteria
  • Posting updates about how you had to evacuate your home
  • Sharing your love of goofy movies
  • Asking for help on a project
  • Giving a friend a hug when they need it
  • Admitting you were wrong
  • Going to the grocery store with small kids and an even smaller budget
  • Traveling to an unfamiliar place
  • Granting grace to someone…especially yourself
  • Being different

Recognize any of these? In others? In yourself? Vulnerability happens EVERY. DAMN. DAY. We just don’t always recognize it or appreciate it when it happens.

So how will you embrace the vulnerability in your life? How will you define it?

Because guess what –

Vulnerability IS.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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Don’t call it a comeback

So you may have noticed that I’ve done precious little posting to my own blog. Yes, I’ve been writing here and there in other publications, yet I have neglected my own.

To be fair, I’ve been busy. It’s been a hell of a year. Over the past 12 months, I’ve left one job, had surgery (I’m fine, thanks!), took some time off, started another job (which I love), and have generally just been settling into a new normal. My new job is a mix of working from home and traveling to client sites – the best of all worlds! (Yes, I’m one of those weird people who kind of likes business travel. My dog, on the other hand, is completely thrown for a loop. “You’re here, like, all the time…then you’re gone forever. Then you’re here again. WHAT IS GOING ON?!”)

thats-clearly-a-comeback-picard-memes

Honestly, I admit I was stunned by how little I’ve actually posted during this time. I’ve never been one to write every day or every week, but you can see where I dropped off. While “busy-ness” is a reason for neglecting my little blog, it doesn’t take THAT long to write something. Looking back, I think it’s a factor of a few things – big changes in work/life (those take time to process); opportunities to write elsewhere (I hate rehashing existing content, so good ideas may have moved to another platform); and, finally…I didn’t have that much to say. A lot of material for work-based blogs come from what you see at work. Since I don’t work in-house anymore, I don’t have everyday interactions that make me think, “What the…,” so it doesn’t really spur the need to write it down.  And a lot of this past year has been about learning a new job, so I’ve been focused on input rather than output.

But I miss writing here, so I’m going to do it more. The focus might shift a bit. I mean, let’s be honest…I’ve never been THAT on point with the topic anyway. And I’m noticing different things in the world of work that interest me, so that will inspire different thoughts.

So stay tuned.

And thanks for sticking it out.

 
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Posted by on September 19, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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Carnival of HR: July Edition!

Hello, everyone! This month, I have the great honor of hosting the Carnival of HR – a collection of blog posts from our friends and peers doing awesome and important things out in the world of the internet. When Robin Schooling asked me if I’d be willing to host, I said, “Of course!” Or maybe I said, “Do I have to?” The record is unclear. But what IS clear is that the Carnival is a great way to be exposed to a variety of voices in the HR space – some you know, some you don’t.

There is no real theme this month – more of a “what do you have to say about HR” approach. And people have a LOT to say. I sort of wanted to make it more like the Brazilian Carnival, mostly because it’s super fun to say car-ni-VAHL. Plus, who doesn’t love to samba?! But alas…it is but a blog post sharing other blog posts. Feel free to wear your most festive feathered Carnival outfit while you read them.

This month’s entries include:

So there you have it – the July 2019 edition of Carnival of HR. Connect with this people. Learn more about them. If you had a reaction to their work, let them know! All writers want to know that people are reading their content. We’re needy that way,

Be good to each other, and be on the lookout for next month’s edition!

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

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Representation and Women in HR Tech

The first half of the first day was dedicated to the Women in HR Technology conference. First of all, I greatly appreciate the fact that the role of women in technology was highlighted – not just from an end-user perspective, but from the leadership in creating and driving the innovation of the technology. I also appreciated seeing so many men attending sessions. Highlighting women doesn’t mean exclusion of men – it means raising everyone’s awareness, and it takes all of us to be more inclusive.

The sessions were good – smart, thought-provoking, data-driven, focused, actionable. I was sad I couldn’t attend all of them based on the Twitter stream I read. As I sat listening to the opening and closing keynotes, as well as some of the sessions, I was stuck by how the topics were intertwined by cause and effect.

Rita Mitjans, the Chief Diversity Officer at ADP, shared data highlighting the importance of diversity for innovation and success in a business. She also shared that while woman and people of color are entering the workforce at decent numbers, they are not advancing in the workforce. Later in the day, Jenny Dearborn, EVP, Human Resources and Global Head of Talent, Leadership & Learning at SAP, shared data around the skills gaps in tech, highlighting the challenges of filling roles in technology. Perhaps the solution is right in front of us.internet of women

Think about it – we know bias is a real thing in hiring. It’s also a real thing in promoting employees, and this problem perpetuates itself in businesses because promotion is more about visibility than ability. Yet within businesses, women tend to be less visible – they are called upon to do fewer presentations to the C-Suite, they are talked down in meetings, they sit in the background rather than at the head of the table. These small actions add up to real consequences. Earning potential drops. Women leave the corporate world. The talent pipeline dries up. And Jenny Dearborn has to do keynotes about the challenges of filling tech roles in Silicon Valley.

This made me think about the importance of representation. If there were more women in tech leadership, there would be more women in tech. Period.

A personal story:

When I was picking a college to attend, I targeted one that would allow me to be a physics/music double major. I assure you – there are not many. A visit to the University of Denver convinced me they were a good fit. The Physics Department had respected scientists, the music program was top notch (a little too focused on classical opera singing, but that was fine), and I liked the student to teacher ratio. After enrolling, I downgraded the music to a minor just for sanity’s sake, but loved being able to do both. Freshman and sophomore years were challenging but great – I had terrific classmates in my physics classes. Each of us had different strengths in thinking through problems, so we complemented and learned from each other. But most of those classmates were either chemistry or pre-med majors and the first two years of physics for them were just prerequisites. For me, it was my future.

Flashforward to junior year. I was the ONLY physics major at DU. That meant it was me and professor in all my advanced classes. And all of my professors were men – not just in my physics classes, but also in my advanced math classes. On the surface, that’s not that big of a deal. After all, a lot of professors are men. But I never once had a mentor in math and science who was a woman. I lost my support group of fellow students. I faced professors who had been doing these classes for years and didn’t know how to interact with a single female student in class. They insisted on leaving the door open for all classes, regardless of how loud it was outside the classroom. I understood why – but it impacted my learning. Halfway through my junior year, I opted to change my major, and graduated with a major in history, and minors in physics and music.  

Would I have stayed in physics if there had been more representation of women? Maybe, maybe not. Intro to Complex Variable was hard, yo. I do know that it shook my confidence right at the time when I needed to believe in myself the most. Now, there are several female astrophysicists and other scientists represented on television, talking about science and making it cool to be smart AND a girl. I love them for that. I watch them and cheer them. And I make sure I tell girls about them and encourage them to love science and technology.

I tell this story because I believe in representation. I believe it impacts a company’s success. I believe it builds strong talent pipelines. I believe it builds strong, confident women who refuse to take a lower salary because they should just be grateful they got the job. I believe it continues to help women realize they should never ever apologize for their success, nor should they be considered rare and magical when they show up at a conference and share their knowledge like the badasses they are.

So thank you, HR Tech Conference, for giving women in HR technology the visibility they deserve. We’ve always been there. Now it’s time you see us.

 

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2018 in Conference Posts, culture, Uncategorized

 

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My first #HRTechConf

You guys, I FINALLY GET TO GO!!!!!

Here’s the deal – in the past, I’ve either worked for companies that were way too big to justify sending an L&OD person to HR Tech or they were way too small to justify sending a non-HRIS person to. Or else I was speaking at a conference that just always happened to be the same week (I’m looking at you, WISHRM).

But this year, the stars aligned I get to go to the conference. And even better, I get to work with the blogger group. In return for my conference pass, I am asked to attend the sessions as an end-user, sharing what I see and my experiences as an HR practitioner in the wild. It’s like HR Tech Nerd Christmas.

I’m super stoked.

(And super dated. Who says stoked anymore?)

Looking through the agenda, I can honestly say I am overwhelmed by the amazing options available. I’ll definitely be starting my conference on Tuesday with the Women in HR Technology track.  From there, I’m trying to decide between bouncing around a number of different tracks, or just planting myself in every single AI session led by John Sumser, who is doing some amazing research and analysis in this area.

Image result for It christmas

I was looking for a something that looked like HR Tech Nerd Christmas. I found this instead. 

As an HR leader about to embark on the quest of implementing a new HCM, I’m really going to learn more about the experience that others have had as they go down this path – what did they learn? what did they wish they had known before they got started? what are the questions I should be asking the vendors along the way? who in the business was their biggest ally? I think that sometimes the HR experience in HR tech gets left out, so my goal is to share my perspective and the perspectives of other HR practitioners who are on various places on the tech savvy spectrum.

I’ll be live tweeting sessions, so follow me on Twitter at @mfaulkner43 and follow the #HRTechConf hashtag all week, September 11-14. If you’re on the fence about going, there’s help available. And use the promo code SURVIVE18 for $300 off your registration (who doesn’t love a sale?).

It’s not every day you get an opportunity to attend a conference that speaks to a multitude of your interests. I can’t wait to learn from the sessions and the speakers. And I can’t wait to share what I learned with anyone who wants to read about it.

I’ll keep you posted!

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Posted by on August 20, 2018 in Conference Posts, Uncategorized

 

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The way we win matters

What’s that? ANOTHER movie reference in a blog post? Hell yes. Buckle up, buttercup. Let’s do this.

It’s no secret that I love science fiction (and science fantasy, where I firmly place Star Wars, but that’s a discussion for another time). I started reading Ray Bradbury and Harlan Ellison at a very young age. Which explains a lot, really. What I appreciate about the genre is that it is such a mirror of who we are as a society – and who we want to be. Some sci-fi is post-apocalyptic and depressing, some is unnaturally cheerful and optimistic. (You can probably guess what kind I tend to watch.) All of it acts as a social commentary for the time in which it was made.

One story I experienced first as a movie and then as a book is Ender’s Game. Regardless of what you think of the book’s author, the story and world building is brilliant and engaging. Years ago, Earth was invaded by an alien species and barely survived. Since then, society has been obsessed with preparing for the next attack, training children to be the leaders of the battle because their brains can process the multitude of data faster.

Ender, so-called because he is a third child in a society that limits most families to two, is unique among his peers. He is the perfect combination of aggression and compassion, believing that the best way to defeat his enemy is to love them, because only then do you understand them. When confronted by bullies at his school, he gravely injures the toughest boy – an apparent over-reaction to the situation. When questioned why later, he replies that he wasn’t fighting to win that battle – he was fighting to win all future battles, too. (Seriously, go watch the movie and read the book – so good.)JALWS Letterhead I

One line in particular has stuck with me. [SPOILERS AHEAD] Near the end of the story, Ender and his unit have been undergoing simulation after simulation to defeat the Formics (insect-like aliens). In the final simulation, they risk nearly everything to defeat the entire race of Formics. Ender sacrifices thousands of (he thinks) simulated lives to achieve victory. Following the simulation, the adults cheer…it turns out, the simulation was the real battle. Colonel Graff (played by Harrison Ford) explains they didn’t tell Ender because they didn’t want him to hesitate…that they needed him to do what was necessary. Graff insists Ender will be remembered a hero. “We won,” Graff proclaims. “That’s all the matters.” Ender fires back, “No. The way we win matters.

This line says so much. It embodies so much of our humanity…or lack of it.

How many times have leaders claimed winning is the only option? How many organizations sacrifice values, integrity, dignity because they tell themselves the ends justify the means? Win at all costs. No holds barred. You have to play the game to win the game.

How many times do people regret that approach? In the long term, I hope it’s all of them. Because you give up something vital when you tell yourself that it doesn’t matter how you won. In the short term, it might seem like the smart play, but ultimately, history judges us all. It exposes the lies we tell ourselves and lays bare our mistakes.

Right now, American society is at a crossroads. We have an administration that values “winning” and loyalty over all else. We have a majority party in Congress that is willing to “win” no matter what the cost. We have organizations that are choosing to align themselves with a president who has been accused of sexual assault, and then turn around and speak about the dangers of #metoo. We live in a world where the number of  impressions and Twitter followers appear to be more important than values and critical thinking.

Is this what winning looks like?

I’d like to believe we’ll right this ship; that we’ll realize that attention isn’t the same as regard. That small “victories” are meaningless if we lose the larger battle. That sacrificing what we believe for the sake of a photo op means more than a slight PR hit. The decisions we make moving forward as leaders – as human beings – say more about us than short term gains. Are we willing to admit that sometimes the right thing to do IS the hard thing to do? Do we have the courage to turn down what looks good in favor of what IS good? Are we willing to speak up when our leaders can’t? Or won’t?

I hope so.

THE WAY WE WIN MATTERS.

 

 

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It’s been a tough week…

Lots happened this week.

Many people are reeling.

Here’s a picture of a kitten in a car.

Take care of yourselves, everyone.

 
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Posted by on June 30, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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