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Category Archives: Coaching

“I love me” – a lesson for leaders

At a recent work function, an employee was recognized for her tenure with the organization.

She was introduced, presented with her plaque, and applauded for her service. And then she gave a small speech.

The speech was very much her personality – heartfelt, spontaneous, funny, endearing. But one part stood out over all others.

She began the section by thanking those who helped her in her career. She acknowledged all the support and mentoring she received from those around her. She then talked about all she was able to accomplish, comparing herself to a butterfly. And then she paused, realized how much she was going on and on about herself, giggled, and said, “I love me.”

The crowd laughed. They loved it. It was so “her.”

She laughed along a little bit, then got serious and said, “It took me a long time to be able to say that.”


Imagine being brave enough to stand in front of a room of your peers – and your leadership team – and say those words.

How would your organization react? I mean, really….what would the people in the room say if this happened at your organization?

Would they be supportive? Would they applaud? Or would they politely clap while giving each other knowing glances that this is clearly a “career limiting move”?

For all our humanity in the workplace, we actually kind of suck at dealing with heartfelt emotion. When someone expresses gratitude earnestly in public, it makes us uncomfortable. Why is that? Have we really decided that people AREN’T people that we should pretend we have no emotions? I hate drama as much as the next person, but I also recognize that people bring different parts of their lives to work. Some folks look forward to work as a place to leave the chaos of their life behind. Some people enjoy work for the relationships they’ve developed. Some people overshare (we didn’t need to see videos of your knee surgery, but thanks!). Some people never share at all (it seems like there’s that one person who no one really knows, and it turns out they have something like 12 kids and were in a movie once).

The point is, we as leaders have done a poor job setting a good example about what is an is not okay in the workplace in terms of emotions. Someone probably cried in a VPs office once and it freaked him/her out, and the next thing you know, all the “how to succeed in business” articles started defining professionalism as “no emotion.” That message of “stoicism = strength = success” has been perpetuated for years.

But then came Emotional Intelligence and suddenly we’re all supposed to care about our feelings, and worse than that…THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS. Good lord. We are not equipped for that – especially leaders. We’ve worked hard to HIDE emotions, and promote those who do the same. So what happened? Some leaders went WAY too far the other way, and were all about sharing and caring and wearing their emotions on their sleeves. Which, frankly, makes a LOT of people uncomfortable. And again, emotion became something to make fun of.

We need to find balance, people. We need to find a way for people to BE people without BEING all over the other people who don’t like to BE in public. Leaders have a chance to connect with their people, and help their people connect with other people – in a completely appropriate and professionally supportive way. No, we don’t have to be in each others’ weddings – but recognize some people might. We don’t have to go out to happy hour with our coworkers – but there are a lot of people who do. The best way to promote balance is to watch and learn from people who are successful, but are also unafraid to show emotion. They cry, they vent, they laugh uncontrollably at cat videos. But they still get shit done and they still command respect from those around them.

Back to our story….


After the employee being honored finished her speech, she received a standing ovation. And it reinforced everything that’s good about being yourself at work. About acknowledging the mistakes you made during your career. About being grateful to those who helped you along the way. About the pain of growing up. And about the satisfaction of kicking butt at your job for a long time.

This is a person who had leaders who believed in her. Who pushed her when it looked like she needed pushing. Who encouraged her when she needed encouraging. Who supported her humor, her intelligence, her sass, and her abilities. In short, this is a person who had leaders who allowed her to discover who she was – someone who could finally say, “I love me.”

Leaders – if you can have ONE employee be able to say that, then you have done your job. You have helped someone realize their potential. You enabled instead of dictated. You got the hell out of the way and watched someone flourish because of what was inside them.

Here endeth the lesson.

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2017 in Authenticity, Coaching, Self-Awareness

 

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Leadership and Learning: Reading is fun!

I like to read books. A lot.

I’m that annoying person who, during the course of a conversation, will tell you 2-3 books you should read because they are really good and would probably solve all the world’s problems and what do you mean you don’t have any time to read?

I’ve always been like this, and I thought everyone was like this. As a new manager, I used to suggest books for my team to read ALL the time, and I was surprised they weren’t as excited about it as I was. They good-naturedly (mostly) gave me a hard time about it, and occasionally someone would read a book.

Here’s the thing – even if they NEVER read the book, they were exposed to different ideas that might change their approach or encourage them to do a little research about topics that interest them. Basically, I made curiosity an expectation.

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It’s for this reason that I say leadership and learning need to go hand in hand. As leaders, it’s easy to be pulled in a number of directions and use the excuse you’re too busy to learn anything new. Poppycock. If you don’t have time to read, use your commute to listen to Audible.com. Seek out people you don’t normally interact with and ask them about their work. Have lunch with a person you admire. If you have the means, find a conference or two to go to and connect with others in your line of work – or even outside of your line of work to expand your horizons.

Once you’ve done all that to keep your thinking fresh and current…SHARE. Share with your team, share with your peers, share with the world (Twitter isn’t ALL about cat videos, you know).

[Note: I just finished reading ‘Contagious’ by Jonah Berger. Check it out. Great stuff about making a message viral.]

Like I said, I love to read. It’s how I learn, it’s how I share. If I tell you about a book I read and I think you should read it…it means I care about your development and think you have potential.

When my boss suggests something to read – as an employee I LOVE it. When I suggest a book to my team – as a leader, it’s my job.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
– Maya Angelou

 

Got a book or interesting tidbit that you want to pass on? Share in the comments below!

 
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Posted by on July 16, 2014 in Coaching, Personal Development, Skillz

 

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Ode to #teamfaulkner (or, the one with the Hoosiers reference)

Not too long ago, I wrote about the importance of having a support network to keep you on track.

I have my own group – #teamfaulkner.

The concept was born out of the idea of having a personal board of directors.  (I don’t remember where I first heard about it, but this HBR article is a good overview.)  I had hit a point in my life and my career where I wanted to start thinking about the long-term, “what do I want to be doing for the rest of my career” questions, and I knew I wasn’t equipped to figure that all out on my own.  I figured I’d put together an advisory committee of people who knew me from various aspects of my life, and I would use them to explore what I might be when I grow up.  There wasn’t a timeline attached – it was basically an exploratory committee.  I figured I had lots of time.

Reality had other ideas, and my job went away as part of a restructure.

It happens.  It sucks when it happens, but it happens.  The good news is that I already had a ready-made support team as I contemplated my next move.

hoosiers#teamfaulkner helped keep me grounded after the surprise of the reorg.  They offered support and acted as a sounding board for different options.  They connected me to some amazing people who shared their thoughts on the state of HR and helped me explore various career paths.  They made me laugh (a lot).  They listened to me in my whiney moments.  They took time to reach out individually as needed.  They let me bounce ideas off them, sharing opinions on various interviews and job options.  They told me what they thought while still leaving room for me to think it through.  And they supported me when I decided on where to land.

They were great.  They’re still great.

One of the #teamfaulkner members asked what I thought about the whole process.  I asked for a little time to think about it, and this person said I should answer on my blog.  So I am. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  • I reached out to the right people: When I thought about putting this “board of directors” together, I wanted to pick people who knew me from a variety of viewpoints – people I’ve worked with, people who at one time worked for me, people I know primarily through the online community, consultants, practitioners, professors, all that stuff.  This variety of perspectives has been invaluable to me; almost like a short-hand for debating all sides of an argument.  Depending on the topic, they share a spectrum of opinions from conservative to “why the hell not?”
  • It’s okay to disagree with the #team: I wanted feedback, not an owner’s manual.  So when someone on #teamfaulkner suggests something I don’t really agree with, it’s awesome because even though I’m not going to take that particular piece of advice, I had to think about why and articulate that “why” to someone else, thereby thinking through the decision-making process much more thoroughly.
  • It’s better to be specific in my requests: I have found it most helpful when I ask specific questions or am more precise in describing what my issue is.  Shockingly, just saying, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!” doesn’t elicit the most useful feedback.  I am also planning to ask #teamfaulkner to challenge me a little more.  Part of it could have been the circumstances (no one wants to kick a person when they are down), and part of it could have been the way I framed the questions.
  • It’s not just about me: Ostensibly, #teamfaulkner is all about me (after all, it’s named after me).  But what various folks have shared is that the group was helpful for them as well – whether it was practice coaching, learning from the advice of others, or being exposed to a new way of thinking through things.
  • I was unprepared for how much people would be willing to reach out and help: I’m a pretty independently-minded human being, which means I typically figure things out on my own.  (Some people would say I’m ‘stubborn’…but I don’t talk to those people any more. Haha.  Sort of.)  When I reached out to a cross-section of friends from different walks of life, I figured I’d get a post now and then…maybe a “like” on my Facebook group.  What I got was an amazing amount of support – thoughtful comments, emails, phone calls, texts, all that cool stuff.  I am still in awe of, and incredibly touched by, the level of personal outreach I’ve received from #teamfaulkner. (This is for you.)

Now that I’ve started my next adventure, a couple of folks asked whether that was the end of #teamfaulkner.  The answer – HELL NO.  I will continue to rely on this group to guide me in my career and personal development.   I want to keep making them visit the Facebook group and read silly posts.  I want to keep learning from this amazing group of people.   I want the group to continue to learn from each other.  I want to tell them when I think they’re full of crap, and I want them to tell me when I’m full of crap (which they totally will).

In short, I want to keep in touch.

#teamfaulkner started as an experiment in leveraging my network, and it has grown into more.  And I will continue to reach out to my team for as long as they will have me.  It’s been an interesting process for me, and one I recommend for others who are looking to gain insight into their development.  Who knows?  There may be a book in it one day.  (If the team is okay with it.)

It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.
~Napoleon Hill

 

 

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I got 99 problems but failure ain’t one

Jason Lauritsen wrote this thought-provoking post on how we approach the concept of failure and why it has such a stigma in our society.  He argues that failure doesn’t need to be something we fear – we should embrace it and move forward from it.  (It’s a good post – go read it!)

This got me thinking about how we as a society in the US approach failure in general….particularly in the newer generations of workers. You hear the jokes about “everyone gets a trophy” or soccer games where no one keeps score.  Because we don’t want our precious children to feel the sting of defeat “too soon”.  Unfortunately, “too soon” easily turns into “ever”…and helicopter parents who earned an indulgent chuckle when their children are in kindergarten solicit anger and frustration from bosses who see the results in their employees. (Kathy Caprino expertly addresses the parenting aspect of business in this article on Forbes.com.)

jenga-fail-jenga-cat-epic-fail-1290113932

Consider these things THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN A REAL COMPANY.  WITH ADULTS.

  • A mother calls her 25-year-old son in sick at work, “because he needs his sleep.”
  • Parents of an intern call the HR department to ask what clothes they should buy their 21-year-old daughter for her summer at the company, even though the information was sent to the intern.
  • An employee calls his mother in the middle of a meeting with an HR manager to talk about what is going on…not once, but TWICE. (Seriously.  This one amazes me.)

These rather extreme examples are a moment in the life of a person who has not yet learned how to cope with the demands of a corporate environment.  But the fallout extends beyond these one-off situations, and it’s not just the Millennials displaying an inability to handle failure.  Do any of these sound familiar?

  • A senior manager refuses to “rock the boat” and speak out against an initiative that he knows will damage the culture because he’s afraid of risk.
  • A vice president insists on full consensus for every single decision she makes because she doesn’t trust her own judgement.
  • A CEO yells and screams at his executive team when the stock goes down because he’s surrounded by idiots who can’t do anything right (or so he thinks).
  • An entry-level employee hates her job because she doesn’t get a promotion in the first 6 months.

We are a society of instant gratification.  We are a society of limiting risk (unless we know we have substantial backup).  We are a society that lacks perseverance in the face of repeated adversity.  We are a society of people who think “Failure is not an option” is a rallying cry.

I’m here to tell you – failure is ALWAYS an option.  Without failure, we would never be able to celebrate success.  Without failure, we would never appreciate a job well done.  Without failure, we would never be motivated to better ourselves. Without failure, we would never learn anything.

Failure drives us forward – but only if we approach it correctly.  Here are some thoughts on how managers and employees (and yes, parents!) alike can harness the power of failure:

  • Acknowledge failure WILL happen: The idea that if you can go without a mistake for 60 seconds, you can go forever without one is ridiculous.  Accept that failure at some point will occur and give yourself (and others) permission to fail.
  • Talk about failure: Talking about something helps to remove the stigma of that thing.  By talking openly about failure, you help to create a culture where such transparency is expected and welcomed.  There is nothing more powerful than a leader who admits his/her vulnerability, shares his/her failures, and then shares what he/she learned from it.
  • Bring options to the table: If you goof up, figure out how you’re going to make it better.  Don’t just wallow in self pity (or freak out and hide).  Start a dialogue about the situation so you can move on. Own up, share what you think contributed to the mistake, offer some options to rectify the issue, and solicit ideas from your stakeholder.
  • Fail once – and learn from it: While failure is a part of the process, repeated failure can be a sign of something else.  I don’t mind an employee who keeps trying new things, isn’t 100% success the first time, but applies what he/she has learned to the next thing.  I do mind an employee who makes the same mistakes over and over again and blames others for his/her inability to change.

If you spend any time in the working world, you’re going to experience failure, from either your actions or the actions of others.  And some of those failures are gonna be doosies.  Failure is not a problem to solve.  It’s a lesson to learn.  Our reaction to failure is what ultimately drives  success.  So will you seize failure as an opportunity?  Or will you hide behind your inability to embrace what failure can do for you?

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.
– Michael Jordan

[Author’s Note: I know there are a lot of people who DO handle failure well.  And that we all know of someone who has persevered, regardless of the odds.  And to those people, I say “you rock.”]

 
 

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I’m a peacock!!! (what to do when your boss won’t let you flap your wings and fly)

Development.  Growth.  Character building.  Resume expansion.  Skillz.

As employees, we are looking for more than a paycheck when we come to work.  We  hope the job is some sort of means to an end, whether it’s fulfilling our lifelong dream of being a CEO, or simply a chance to “pay our dues” or “learn something new” on the way to that mythical “perfect” job out there.

So when our manager keeps us from growing on the job, it gets us miffed.  Some might even say snippy. Or, in extreme cases, terribly vexed.

There’s data that support the general annoyance felt by employees whose growth has been stymied.  Engagement studies continue to indicate that career development is a key engagement factor for most employees.  In fact, less than half of all employees believe they have career opportunities with their current employer.  Interestingly enough, another key engagement factor is trust in leadership…so if you have a manager who lied about the development opportunities your position offers, you’re probably not terribly engaged at the moment.   And now we’re backed to being terribly vexed.

The good news is that you don’t need 100% buy-in from your manager in order to grow.  I happen to subscribe to the belief that employees should own their own development, and as such, it is up to us to find ways to demand a chance to flap our wings and fly.  (It’s a reference to The Other Guys.  You’re welcome.)

See?  He's not flying.  And he's sad.

See? He’s not flying. And he’s sad.

Without further ado, here are some suggestions on how you can “encourage” an uncooperative boss into helping you grow and develop:

  • Be specific about your requests: This is slightly more than just “ask for it” (which is still good advice, but may not work with this type of boss).  You need to know what it is you want to accomplish with your development.  If you say to me, “I want to develop.  Develop me.”, I wouldn’t want to help you either.  It’s too vague!  Get some specificity.  If you are looking for more budgeting experience, ask your boss if you can sit in on a financial review meeting.  If you want eventually to be a manager, volunteer to lead a few projects.  Just mapping out some specific development goals for yourself will help move you in the right direction.
  • Help your coworkers on projects outside of your skill set: This is an awesome way to grow…and to get brownie points for “teamwork”.  Yes, you’ll have to figure out the best way to prioritize your time so you still get your work done if your boss isn’t fully on board, but you’ll be amazed at how much you can learn from your teammates.  Each of us brings unique skills and experience to the table, and there is no cost to learning from each other.
  • Seek out a mentor in another department: Let’s face it – sometimes you take a job that isn’t the greatest because of the opportunity to work for a certain company.  But now you’re stuck in that department because your boss doesn’t care about your career development.  Unless you are physically chained to the desk, you can move about the office, building relationships in different departments and asking for advice and guidance from others.  (If you ARE physically chained to a desk, you may want to call HR.)  Seek out the people who already are what you want to be when you grow up and learn from them.
  • Volunteer with a local industry-specialized membership chapter: An excellent way to build your network within your industry is to belong to and volunteer with a local chapter of that industry’s organization (e.g., SHRM).  This will allow you to stay current in the latest and greatest within your chosen profession, you’ll meet lots of amazing people, make some great friends, and build your brand.  And you get to brag about the fact you volunteered.
  • Read: And that means more than just browsing the headlines on Yahoo! or glancing at your Twitter feed.  Pick a topic you’re interested in, that’s relevant to your development goals, and hunt down some great books…and commit to reading them!  (Here’s a list to get you started.)  I LOVE to read, so this one seems like a no brainer to me…but I know some folks would rather gouge their eyes out then sit still and read a book.  I get that.  So try an audio book (you can get them from libraries, iTunes, whatever).  If they make a movie from it, watch that (worked for Freakonomics).  Subscribe to some industry magazines.  Just find a way to stay up to date in a meaningful way that makes you think.

This is just a short list of things you can do to keep you growing and learning even if your boss seems determined to keep you stagnant.   Hopefully you see that it doesn’t take much to overcome the perceived obstacle of an uncooperative manager – each of us makes a choice about our own engagement.  Don’t settle for whining about your lack of growth – flap your own damn wings and fly!

Have a suggestion on how to harness your inner peacock?  Share in the comments!

 

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10 (-ish) things leaders do that make me sad: Part 2

As I said in Part 1, I’m sure there are more than what’s on this list. But come on, I already had to break the post up into two articles because of the length – give me a break!

And now, the thrilling conclusion of my list (in no particular order):

  1. Ignore evidence: Sometimes super smart people can’t see the forest for the trees. Or they already have their mind made up and look for confirmatory “facts”. Or they refuse to admit that a pattern of circumstantial evidence trumps a smoking gun. Whatever it is, it can be very frustrating for a team that perceives its leader as someone who ignores what they see as “obvious” – this is how grumbling starts. Yes, I acknowledge that there is often evidence a leader has that can’t be shared with others. So tell them that. I’m more concerned with a leader who explains away evidence because it’s inconvenient to acknowledge it.
  2. Have trust issues: Ah, trust. That oh-so-important-yet-rarely-mastered element of a highly functioning team. When a leader trusts too much or too little, the balance of the organization can be completely thrown off. I tend to think that trusting too little is a bit more damaging as I’ve seen its impact first hand, but trusting too much can lead to a number of the other behaviors on this list and can also damage a leader’s credibility. Trust is a combination of character and competence – once you’ve figured that out, leaders, you can go from there.
  3. Busad-pandally others / allow bullying: Yes – bullies are often insecure and act out because of fear. I don’t care – they’re still jerks who harm others and kill a culture. If you are a bully, stop it. If you know a bully, stop them. I don’t care how great the results this person might bring to the organization – I can tell you that in the long run, it is NEVER worth it. (SHRM members, check out this article on why bullies thrive at work.)
  4. Think “me first”: One of the more difficult aspects of leadership to wrap one’d mind around is that it’s not about you and your abilities any more – it’s about your team and their results. Some leaders aren’t able to make that leap, and it makes me sad because it robs a team of an opportunity to spread its wings, and it limits a leader’s ability to positively impact a greater part of the organization. It should always be about the team and about the company for leaders. (Oh, and guess what – if you’re an executive, your team is the executive team…not your organization.)
  5. Focus too much on who likes them: The reality is that at any given time, there are dozens of people who don’t like you. In fact, it could be in the hundreds or more, depending on your company’s size and industry. Get over it. USA Today recently shared this fantastic quote from Eleanor Roosevelt – “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” You’re never going to get everyone to like you, so focus more on making the right decision and feel confident you can stand by it for the right reasons.
  6. Don’t develop their people: Shame on you. Your people hunger for growth and thirst for knowledge. You’re unwillingness to develop your people is either lazy, petty, or both. I’ve always told leaders that their job is to train their replacement and/or find a way to help their people reach their full potential. If you don’t want to do that, then don’t be a leader. (By the way, read this post by Mike Figliuolo on becoming a talent exporter – great stuff!)
  7. Play favorites: We know…you love all your children equally, blah blah blah. Oh please – we all have a favorite or two. Some employees are special and you want to help develop them. That’s okay. What’s not okay is BLATANT favoritism – especially when it’s unwarranted and/or based on personal friendship. Leaders who blatantly play favorites put the whole organization in jeopardy because the wrong people are sometimes promoted or otherwise rewarded…and the good employees see that and leave. And that makes me sad.

Well, there you have it. My Top Ten (-ish) Leadership Behaviors that make me sad. Agree? Disagree? Think I missed a few? Let me know! Share in the comments or send me a note.

[Sad Panda graphic respectfully grabbed off the internet because I LOVE that South Park episode!!]

 
 

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10 (-ish) things leaders do that make me sad: Part 1

Okay, this is a list that started out as 10 and then settled somewhere in the vicinity of 14 (I have editing issues), so I apologize for the length. Because it’s so long, I’ve broken it into two separate posts.

There are more of them out there, I’m sure – these are the ones that stand out to me because of the widespread impact they have on an organization.

So here, in no particular order, is the first half of my list:

  1. Fail to acknowledge their impact: Seriously – if you’re a leader, you impact your organization. Pure and simple. No ifs, ands or butts. So when a leader tries to pull the “do as I say, not as I do” crap, it just underscores a certain lack of awareness that leaders need to have to be successful. Don’t be surprised if your team throws each other under the bus when you do the same thing.
  2. Lie: This one’s a pretty obvious no-no, so why do leaders keep doing it? Well, according to research – we ALL lie and cheat…at least a little bit. But some people are LIARS (all caps – I know!) – they misrepresent their skills, their team’s skills, the facts, just about everything. When these lying liars lie, it impacts the business’s ability to make good decisions, destroys trust on all levels, and creates a culture that no one feels good in.
    oh the horror
  3. Avoid conflict: I know. Conflict is icky. People might get upset. Voices might be raised. Eye contact might be made. Here’s the thing – without conflict, there is no debate. With no debate, the wrong decisions might be made because a leader was scared to “rock the boat”. Healthy conflict is ESSENTIAL to innovation and good business. The really annoying bit is that leaders who avoid conflict are often the first ones to say, “I told you so” when something happens that they suspected but didn’t bring up. Boo on them.
  4. Treat “accountability” like a disease: As you know, this is my “thing”. So when I deal with a leader who is unable to embrace accountability, it really puts a little black rain cloud over my head. Lack of accountability comes in many shapes and sizes, but primarily boils down to two big categories – inability to accept accountability for something you did, and inability to hold others accountable for their actions. Both are damaging to the organization. A leader who keeps getting bad outcomes yet doesn’t see how he/she contributed to the situation will forever be blaming outside forces for their issues (unless, of course, it’s a successful outcome – then it’s totally that leader’s skills that did it, the aptly named “self-serving bias”). A leader who doesn’t hold others accountable doesn’t get results, tends to complain about their team a lot, and doesn’t understand why all the A players want to leave.
  5. Talk more than listen: Leaders who listen get amazing results – their employees know they can take anything to their leader and it will be considered. Doesn’t mean it will be implemented, but at least their voice will be heard. Leaders who talk too much are usually GREAT speakers. They are often external processors. All that is well and good, but watch what happens to a team when a leader talks and talks and talks – there’s usually only one voice in meetings, no one is willing to bring things to the leader’s attention, people hesitate when the leader asks for ideas. That’s because people assume the leader’s voice will overrule all others. And that’s not good.
  6. Roll their eyes: Listen, I’m a champion eye-roller. You can hear my eyes rolling from across the country when I think something is ridiculous. And it’s a horrible trait that I’ve worked hard to eliminate. The reality is that eye rolling is the manifestation of contempt – one of the most damaging attitudes. Leaders who roll their eyes are really just treating another person with contempt. They are sending the message that others are inferior to them, that they can’t be bothered to deal with that other person’s issues. It’s often an involuntary movement, but don’t think for a moment the other person didn’t notice.
  7. Gossip: People like gossip. It makes them feel like they are in the “in-crowd” because they have secret information. And even though employees prefer to get their information from their manager, they usually end up getting information through the grapevine, so I get that gossip is a learned habit reinforced by years in the workforce. When leaders gossip, though, it is incredibly damaging. A leader’s words carry weight – speculation and rumor become fact when someone in authority says it. So come on, leaders – show some respect to the absent and stop gossiping.

Want to read more? Continue on to Part 2!

Want to argue my points? Leave a comment.

 

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