It’s time to start writing for me again

Picture of a typewriter with the words "stories matter" on the paper.

It’s been eleven months since I last posted on this site. Kind of stretches the claim in my bio that I author a blog, ya know?

It’s not that I haven’t been writing. I contribute to HR Examiner, ERE.net, and other one-offs as requested. I also write for newsletters and posts for the place where I work. I enjoy writing for all these different places, I really do! But for anyone who has ever done prescribed writing, you know it’s just not the same as writing for yourself.

It’s not that I haven’t had ideas for this blog during the last eleven months. Apparently, I have 25 drafts of posts in various degrees of completion, and that doesn’t count all the random ideas I’ve had while watching television or listening to the radio, or just musing on the human condition.

I just haven’t felt like finishing any of the posts.

Part of it is all the other writing I’ve been doing. Sometimes the word tank just runs dry. Part of it is the fact I really like my work and maybe I didn’t need to write to feel heard (I will most likely unpack that in a future post). I also think a big part of it is, just….well, LOOK AT WHAT IS HAPPENING. We have a lot going on between COVID and the crazy person who was supposed to lead us through it. It just felt like there were more important things to deal with.

Our dog, Bamboo (also known as Boo), died unexpectedly in February. She threw a series of blood clots and we had to let her go. It was terrible. Then COVID hit, and all the things I find solace in (travel, choir, lunch with friends) had to shut down. Then there was the uncertainty about jobs and the economy. I mean…that’s a lot.

But things are starting to look up. We were fortunate to get another puppy soon after we lost Boo. (Baloo was born the day Boo died – I like to think that was divine intervention). The work I do is still important, desired, and incredibly fulfilling. And for the first time in four years, we will have an adult in the Oval Office. Hope springs eternal.

So I’m going to start writing more regularly again. I may dust off one of those 25 drafts and finish it up. Or I might just delete the lot and start anew. I may even change the name of this web site. Who knows?

I just know that I’ve still got opinions and I want to share them.

Pro Tips from a Terrible Job-Seeker

Recently, a friend of mine asked if I had any tips as she thought about her next role. She knew that I had been through a similar situation about a year ago and wanted to know what wisdom I had learned from the experience.

I also laugh a little to myself when I get these requests. I think it’s fun that people think I know what I’m doing as a job-seeker. As a recruiter, not a problem – I can give advice and suggestions all day long about how to recruit, as well as share what recruiters and hiring managers are thinking. It’s different when it’s personal. I often describe my career as “Forrest Gump-ing my way through life” because I wasn’t always the most thoughtful in my approach. I would work somewhere for awhile, decide it was time to leave, then find something else without a lot of planning. It typically worked out, but not always. And while I learned something from every job, I feel like I could have avoided some of the pain along the way if I had been smarter about it.

Thankfully, I was a LOT more thoughtful about my last move. As a result, I’m in a job I love doing incredibly interesting work with incredibly smart people. Finally.

So, to help you NOT be me, here are some of the tips I shared with my friend:

  1. Don’t search scared: If you still have a job while you’re searching, this is a little easier. If you don’t have a job, it can be hard to be patient and not panic about money. Hopefully you have a nice buffer and can feel okay taking the right amount of time to find what you want. This isn’t always possible, so if you need to take a contract position while you look for your permanent home, that’s okay.
  2. Know (generally) what you want: Just blindly looking for something that looks interesting is exhausting and makes it harder for people to help you network. There are some good free tools out there to help you narrow your focus. Or splurge for a session with a coach or super smart friend. Whatever you do, narrowing down your want list is necessary.
  3. Find like-minded people: I’m not talking culture fit. Find people who will appreciate you for YOU. I’m at the point in my career where I will not suffer fools for immediate coworkers, so I consider long and hard who I will be interacting with, whether I’ll learn anything from them, and whether they will get my sense of humor (and that list is shorter than you think).
  4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help: As shared earlier, I suck at finding jobs for myself, but I love helping other people find jobs (I’m so weird like that). Chances are, you have an AMAZING network of people who love you and want to help you find your dream job. Use it.
  5. Treat Yo’Self!: Yes, you’ll want to be smart about money until you’ve got your next gig figured out, but don’t begrudge yourself a pedicure. Or a trip, if it’s booked. Or a hair appointment. Or that damn cup of fancy coffee. You still need to love you.

So there you have it. Hopefully this helps you as you contemplate that next job search. It’s not an exact science. Everyone’s search is a little different, so grant yourself a little grace along the way.

If you have any advice to share, please do! And good luck to those who are looking for their next job. We’ve got your back.

Vulnerability is…

There has been a lot of talk around vulnerability lately.

I blame Brené Brown.

Okay, not JUST Brené Brown, but she’s probably the most famous one at this point. She gives talks about vulnerability all the time. They are really, really good talks. She speaks from the heart. She lays bare all her flaws. She challenges everyone else to do the same.

And people love it. And they love her. And everyone leaves promising themselves and each other that they will be more vulnerable to get past that fear, that they will have a strong back and a soft front, because there is power in vulnerability.

Then people go back to their daily lives, where there a whole bunch of other people who have never heard of Brené Brown who think vulnerability is a weakness and that you have to suck it up and show a brave face. And so, the idea of living a life of true vulnerability (like Brené Brown) is abandoned. It just seems too daunting and overwhelming, and besides – just getting through the workday is hard enough without worrying about whether you were vulnerable enough, right?

Here’s the thing – I think most people live lives of vulnerability all the time, just in different ways. They don’t call attention to it, they just do it.

Vulnerability is….

  • Standing up for a coworker
  • Just eating the damn cake without apologizing for it
  • Crying when you’re upset
  • Sharing when you’re nervous
  • Wearing that red pair of shoes because you feel amazing in them
  • Dressing up for Halloween, even though the “cool kids” will make fun of you
  • Reading a romance novel at lunch in the cafeteria
  • Posting updates about how you had to evacuate your home
  • Sharing your love of goofy movies
  • Asking for help on a project
  • Giving a friend a hug when they need it
  • Admitting you were wrong
  • Going to the grocery store with small kids and an even smaller budget
  • Traveling to an unfamiliar place
  • Granting grace to someone…especially yourself
  • Being different

Recognize any of these? In others? In yourself? Vulnerability happens EVERY. DAMN. DAY. We just don’t always recognize it or appreciate it when it happens.

So how will you embrace the vulnerability in your life? How will you define it?

Because guess what –

Vulnerability IS.