10 (-ish) things leaders do that make me sad: Part 2

As I said in Part 1, I’m sure there are more than what’s on this list. But come on, I already had to break the post up into two articles because of the length – give me a break!

And now, the thrilling conclusion of my list (in no particular order):

  1. Ignore evidence: Sometimes super smart people can’t see the forest for the trees. Or they already have their mind made up and look for confirmatory “facts”. Or they refuse to admit that a pattern of circumstantial evidence trumps a smoking gun. Whatever it is, it can be very frustrating for a team that perceives its leader as someone who ignores what they see as “obvious” – this is how grumbling starts. Yes, I acknowledge that there is often evidence a leader has that can’t be shared with others. So tell them that. I’m more concerned with a leader who explains away evidence because it’s inconvenient to acknowledge it.
  2. Have trust issues: Ah, trust. That oh-so-important-yet-rarely-mastered element of a highly functioning team. When a leader trusts too much or too little, the balance of the organization can be completely thrown off. I tend to think that trusting too little is a bit more damaging as I’ve seen its impact first hand, but trusting too much can lead to a number of the other behaviors on this list and can also damage a leader’s credibility. Trust is a combination of character and competence – once you’ve figured that out, leaders, you can go from there.
  3. Busad-pandally others / allow bullying: Yes – bullies are often insecure and act out because of fear. I don’t care – they’re still jerks who harm others and kill a culture. If you are a bully, stop it. If you know a bully, stop them. I don’t care how great the results this person might bring to the organization – I can tell you that in the long run, it is NEVER worth it. (SHRM members, check out this article on why bullies thrive at work.)
  4. Think “me first”: One of the more difficult aspects of leadership to wrap one’d mind around is that it’s not about you and your abilities any more – it’s about your team and their results. Some leaders aren’t able to make that leap, and it makes me sad because it robs a team of an opportunity to spread its wings, and it limits a leader’s ability to positively impact a greater part of the organization. It should always be about the team and about the company for leaders. (Oh, and guess what – if you’re an executive, your team is the executive team…not your organization.)
  5. Focus too much on who likes them: The reality is that at any given time, there are dozens of people who don’t like you. In fact, it could be in the hundreds or more, depending on your company’s size and industry. Get over it. USA Today recently shared this fantastic quote from Eleanor Roosevelt – “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” You’re never going to get everyone to like you, so focus more on making the right decision and feel confident you can stand by it for the right reasons.
  6. Don’t develop their people: Shame on you. Your people hunger for growth and thirst for knowledge. You’re unwillingness to develop your people is either lazy, petty, or both. I’ve always told leaders that their job is to train their replacement and/or find a way to help their people reach their full potential. If you don’t want to do that, then don’t be a leader. (By the way, read this post by Mike Figliuolo on becoming a talent exporter – great stuff!)
  7. Play favorites: We know…you love all your children equally, blah blah blah. Oh please – we all have a favorite or two. Some employees are special and you want to help develop them. That’s okay. What’s not okay is BLATANT favoritism – especially when it’s unwarranted and/or based on personal friendship. Leaders who blatantly play favorites put the whole organization in jeopardy because the wrong people are sometimes promoted or otherwise rewarded…and the good employees see that and leave. And that makes me sad.

Well, there you have it. My Top Ten (-ish) Leadership Behaviors that make me sad. Agree? Disagree? Think I missed a few? Let me know! Share in the comments or send me a note.

[Sad Panda graphic respectfully grabbed off the internet because I LOVE that South Park episode!!]

10 (-ish) things leaders do that make me sad: Part 1

Okay, this is a list that started out as 10 and then settled somewhere in the vicinity of 14 (I have editing issues), so I apologize for the length. Because it’s so long, I’ve broken it into two separate posts.

There are more of them out there, I’m sure – these are the ones that stand out to me because of the widespread impact they have on an organization.

So here, in no particular order, is the first half of my list:

  1. Fail to acknowledge their impact: Seriously – if you’re a leader, you impact your organization. Pure and simple. No ifs, ands or butts. So when a leader tries to pull the “do as I say, not as I do” crap, it just underscores a certain lack of awareness that leaders need to have to be successful. Don’t be surprised if your team throws each other under the bus when you do the same thing.
  2. Lie: This one’s a pretty obvious no-no, so why do leaders keep doing it? Well, according to research – we ALL lie and cheat…at least a little bit. But some people are LIARS (all caps – I know!) – they misrepresent their skills, their team’s skills, the facts, just about everything. When these lying liars lie, it impacts the business’s ability to make good decisions, destroys trust on all levels, and creates a culture that no one feels good in.
    oh the horror
  3. Avoid conflict: I know. Conflict is icky. People might get upset. Voices might be raised. Eye contact might be made. Here’s the thing – without conflict, there is no debate. With no debate, the wrong decisions might be made because a leader was scared to “rock the boat”. Healthy conflict is ESSENTIAL to innovation and good business. The really annoying bit is that leaders who avoid conflict are often the first ones to say, “I told you so” when something happens that they suspected but didn’t bring up. Boo on them.
  4. Treat “accountability” like a disease: As you know, this is my “thing”. So when I deal with a leader who is unable to embrace accountability, it really puts a little black rain cloud over my head. Lack of accountability comes in many shapes and sizes, but primarily boils down to two big categories – inability to accept accountability for something you did, and inability to hold others accountable for their actions. Both are damaging to the organization. A leader who keeps getting bad outcomes yet doesn’t see how he/she contributed to the situation will forever be blaming outside forces for their issues (unless, of course, it’s a successful outcome – then it’s totally that leader’s skills that did it, the aptly named “self-serving bias”). A leader who doesn’t hold others accountable doesn’t get results, tends to complain about their team a lot, and doesn’t understand why all the A players want to leave.
  5. Talk more than listen: Leaders who listen get amazing results – their employees know they can take anything to their leader and it will be considered. Doesn’t mean it will be implemented, but at least their voice will be heard. Leaders who talk too much are usually GREAT speakers. They are often external processors. All that is well and good, but watch what happens to a team when a leader talks and talks and talks – there’s usually only one voice in meetings, no one is willing to bring things to the leader’s attention, people hesitate when the leader asks for ideas. That’s because people assume the leader’s voice will overrule all others. And that’s not good.
  6. Roll their eyes: Listen, I’m a champion eye-roller. You can hear my eyes rolling from across the country when I think something is ridiculous. And it’s a horrible trait that I’ve worked hard to eliminate. The reality is that eye rolling is the manifestation of contempt – one of the most damaging attitudes. Leaders who roll their eyes are really just treating another person with contempt. They are sending the message that others are inferior to them, that they can’t be bothered to deal with that other person’s issues. It’s often an involuntary movement, but don’t think for a moment the other person didn’t notice.
  7. Gossip: People like gossip. It makes them feel like they are in the “in-crowd” because they have secret information. And even though employees prefer to get their information from their manager, they usually end up getting information through the grapevine, so I get that gossip is a learned habit reinforced by years in the workforce. When leaders gossip, though, it is incredibly damaging. A leader’s words carry weight – speculation and rumor become fact when someone in authority says it. So come on, leaders – show some respect to the absent and stop gossiping.

Want to read more? Continue on to Part 2!

Want to argue my points? Leave a comment.

Leadership training gone wrong (and how to fix it)

Recently, I spent 3 hours of my life sitting in a leadership “workshop”. I use quotes, because it was more like a speech with limited table activities (big room, lots of people, blah blah blah). While the speaker did a good job, the content was nothing anyone hasn’t seen before – a couple of nice concepts sprinkled on a sundae of been there, done that. Ironically, I attended this on the same day my husband (who is more receptive to training than most because of what I do for a living) attended a mandatory training that was less than life-changing.

The confluence of these two sessions got me thinking about the state of leadership development out there. There is a LOT of crap that people are paying good money for that ends up being repackaged versions of successful books from the past. (The session I mentioned earlier wasn’t that bad…but it set off this train of thought…that, and this blog post by Laurie Ruettimann – if you’re not following her, you should be.) The laziness out there really chaps my hide because it perpetuates the myth that leadership training sucks. As a person with a pretty strong background in that arena (leadership dev, not sucking…I think), and as someone who has had to preview way too many awful training programs, I take it personally when someone knowingly puts out mediocre work.

20130424-204818.jpgThe reality is, there are some truly amazing and effective programs out there, and some equally amazing organizations who can help you meet your development goals. The Center for Creative Leadership, Franklin Covey’s Speed of Trust, Crucial Conversations, Disney Institute, Situational Leadership…lots of great stuff. Sadly, few leaders (or L&D groups, apparently) know how to pick a good program. They sign up for whatever sounds good and hope for the best.  And even more depressing is that there are a lot of training professionals trying to pass off sub-standard content as “groundbreaking”.

So in an effort to keep the development pool undiluted by “meh”, and to provide some guidance to those of you looking for a session/workshop/vendor/etc., I submit the following ways to make leadership training more meaningful:

  • Get on with it: I know context is important. But do we really need 45 minutes rehashing what “leadership” is? There’s a good chance everyone who has sought out leadership development already has their own ideas of what leadership is, so take a few minutes to get everyone on the same page as to how you’ll be referring to leadership in the session…AND MOVE ON.
  • What are the objectives? If the session description can’t articulate the expected learning outcomes, you’re in trouble. And if you as a learner can’t articulate your expected learning outcomes, you’re in trouble. And this might just be my soapbox, but don’t trust an objective that uses “understand”. Can you measure “understanding”? Yes? Then say how, and use THAT word instead. Which leads into my next point…
  • Awareness is not actionable: Let me be clear – awareness is a vital component to development and change; however, it is not in and of itself a solution. What are you going to DO with that awareness? Too many trainings spend the bulk of the time on making you aware of stuff, but then gloss over HOW to affect real change. People probably know they need to talk to their team better. So how do they do it? Share some concrete steps, not just high level concepts and pretty pictures.
  • Make sure the learner is a willing participant: Nothing makes me sadder (in a training context) than hastily developed generic mandatory leadership training. It’s out there. I’ve even implemented some (don’t judge me too harshly). Look, I get that this one is tough.  It’s kind of a “lesser of two evils” decision sometimes. So if you have to mandate training to ensure evil managers let their people attend training, mix it up a bit. Do what you can to let the learner pick the topic/session relevant to them. Structure the content in a way that allows the learner to co-create the experience. Be a good enough facilitator to be able to adjust the material to the needs of the audience.
  • Results matter, not your words: This is for the instructional designers out there. As long as the learning objectives are met, does it really matter that the facilitator didn’t say every word you wrote? A good facilitator knows how to get the most put of your material – let them. Work with them to explain your choices, outline non-negotiables, and then let it go. The learners will appreciate it, and you won’t go crazy trying to reign in those diva trainers. 😉 (I say that with great respect – I have had the privilege of working with some amazing facilitators. I’m talking to you, Jim Unger!)
  • DO SOMETHING: Development without supported practice or real world application isn’t development. It’s lip service. Nuff said.

We who believe in the power of leadership development need to hold our fellow practitioners accountable. And we who want our leadership development to make a difference should demand better.

I could go on and on and on (and some of you would say I already have!). As you may have surmised, I’ve got some opinions on this topic and could probably fill a book with them.   But I want to hear from you – what do YOU think leadership development should include? Do you have a horror story we could all learn from? Share in the comments below or send me a note!

Almost anything can become a learning experience if there is enough caring involved.
– Mary MacCracken