Are you serving ‘leadership a la carte’? Well, stop it.

Do you wish your boss would let you pick and choose which leadership behaviors you want? What if your boss then chose to “charge” you for those services through overtime, extra projects, or even future raises?

What the what?

Allow me to explain.

While browsing on LinkedIn, I read this article by Christopher Elliott which talks about the new a la carte approach to air travel – tickets are all that are guaranteed. Luggage, carry-ons, even water are now added revenue, and gosh isn’t it wonderful? Because this lets customers pick and choose which services they want to pay for. Which is what EVERYONE wants (anyway, that’s what the airlines would like you to think).

When people pay for a ticket, there are certain things they take for granted as part of the flying experience – such as an opportunity to bring your luggage. Or drink some water. Most people would be okay with paying a slightly higher airfare for the illusion that they are getting the experience they expected (see Southwest).

So let’s take this back to leadership…employees don’t always know what leadership behaviors they need from their supervisors. As a result, they are seldom able to tell a manager how they are best led. Ask any employee what kind of managing style they do best under, and at least 92.3% of them will say, “I hate micromanaging.” First of all, many employees think being held accountable is micromanaging, and second of all, some employees NEED micromanaging until they learn the job. So do we still think employees know what they need all the time?

As a leader, you’re responsible for adjusting your style to the needs of your employee – which means you better be able to apply a lot of different kinds of leadership. And employees expect that of you – it’s part of the social contract of the manager/employee relationship, not a “nice to have”. Employees will put up with a tougher workplace, longer hours, and provide discretionary effort (the “higher ticket price”) when they know they have a leader who has their back and will step in with the right approach when necessary.

If you suspect you’re an A la Carte Leader and want to change, try some of the following:

Schedule regular 1:1s with your employee (even if they don’t want it!)
Establish a level of trust by LISTENING (novel concept, I know)
Study different leadership models and styles to increase your toolbox (e.g., Situational Leadership, The Leadership Challenge, Strengths Based Leadership, etc.)
Accept that you are there to make your employees successful and provide the support they need

Employees don’t always know what they want exactly when they need it, but they DO know when their leader isn’t providing what they need. Rather than thinking of yourself as an add-on, remember that you are part of the entire employment experience – employees expect and need your support. And if you fail to give it to them, they WILL move on.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.”
–Max De Pree

I get by with a little help from my friends

Do you have a safety net? Do you have a network of friends who can help you through tough times? Do you have a group of folks who can talk straight to you and tell you when you’re being an idiot?

If you don’t, you need one.

Leaders have a tendency to try and do everything on their own. As a result, they often suck at delegating, struggle to communicate their vision compellingly…and aren’t too good about reaching out for help when they need it. And of all people, leaders (especially CEOs) need to avoid isolation – it can negatively impact the business.

Regardless of your level of leadership, you can benefit from having your own personal support team. I know this from personal experience:

Venting: Life is not always cupcakes and unicorns, which means you’re going to need to be able to complain and rage from time to time. Your support group will listen and not judge…well, not much.
Accountability: A good support group calls you on your crap. They can also help you clarify and achieve your goals. It’s good to have people around who can keep you on track. They can also suggest actions to take to help get you to the finish line.
Sanity Check: This is similar to “accountability” but it’s a little more focused than that. Your support team is there to throw out the red flag when they see you about to do something incredibly stupid. It’s great to have that voice of reason when things go crazy.
Wisdom: As much as you think you know everything, you don’t. Your support team can use their collective knowledge to help you break through your issues and move forward. So find some smart people for your posse!
Laughter: When you pick your support team, make sure you pick ones who have the same sense of humor as you. And aren’t afraid to say inappropriate things. And who know REALLY good jokes.

Just remember: you don’t have to go through this alone. Find your team and conquer the world!

PS – Shout out to #TeamFaulkner! You know who you are. And you are awesome.

Do you have a support network? What do you use it for? Share in the comments!

To Burn or Not to Burn? (a question of bridges)

Early on in my career, I had one of those proud/not-so-proud moments (depending on how you look at it) while working for a small company as an “office manager” – you know, that all-inclusive title that pretty much means you have no authority but all the blame. I dropped an F-bomb on the owner’s wife. [It’s a long story, but basically she accused me of not caring enough about the job. Because I didn’t respond to her request in 3 seconds. But I digress.]

I believe the exact phrase I used was, “F*** you and f*** this job.” I grabbed my phone and my purse and made my dramatic exit.

After walking away from the building, the reality of what happened hit me and I called my husband and said, “I think I just quit my job.” The thing was, I couldn’t afford to quit my job. So…I turned around and went back to the office to figure it out. So much for leaving in a blaze of glory.

Luckily, the owner’s wife apologized first, then I apologized, and we made it work until I moved on to complete my student teaching. Despite the time that has past, I’ve never forgotten that moment, thinking back to it with a certain wistfulness every time I’ve moved on from a company. But I have never reenacted that moment because I know there would be consequences.

Before you decide to lay waste to the past and leave in a dramatic fashion (like these extreme quitters), decide if it’s worth it by answering these questions:

Will I need a reference from anyone at this company?
Obviously you would only select “friendly” references. But any recruiter worth their salt will do what they can to find backdoor references – folks NOT on your friendly list – because they want the real scoop. Those are the people you need to be thinking about.
Did I gain a significant amount of experience at this company that I will need to be able to refer to in the future?
A job you had for a month or two might be okay to leave off the ol’ resume. But what if you were there for 2 years? Or 5 years? Or 15? You’re going to need to be able to use that experience to sell your skills to a future employer.
Is it possible I may want to return to this company?
Sean Connery claimed he would NEVER play James Bond again…and then came back to make, you guessed it, Never Say Never Again. I get tough work environments, burn out, impossible bosses, etc. The reality is that people move on, circumstances change, and time lends perspective. Don’t risk future opportunity to for short-term satisfaction.
How small is my industry’s world?
This is particularly important if you have a niche skill set – IT, legal, and yes, even instructional design, can fall into this arena. Word of your behavior will get out. And with social media, the range will be even further than you think. If there’s a chance your exit may reflect poorly on you if told to a potential future employer, it’s a BAD idea to burn that bridge.
Am I an adult?
Seriously, are you? A true professional tries to address the issues at hand, and if that doesn’t work, he or she leaves like an adult human being rather than a 2-year-old or viral video wannabe. Yes, it’s really entertaining to watch the videos of extreme quitters, and we all live vicariously through their efforts. But what did it really change in those companies? And where are those people today? A few people did turn their moment of fame into a career, but most probably traded a moment of triumph for a professional lifetime of explaining away that YouTube clip.

There are times when burning bridges might make sense (companies engaging in illegal activities come to mind). The point is, only you can make that choice – so make it a good one.

If you decide it’s totally worth it – go for it! And please, film it so we can enjoy it, too.

Do you have story of a burned bridge to share? Are there times when it DOES make sense to burn a bridge? Let me know in the comments!

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