10 (-ish) things leaders do that make me sad: Part 2

As I said in Part 1, I’m sure there are more than what’s on this list. But come on, I already had to break the post up into two articles because of the length – give me a break!

And now, the thrilling conclusion of my list (in no particular order):

  1. Ignore evidence: Sometimes super smart people can’t see the forest for the trees. Or they already have their mind made up and look for confirmatory “facts”. Or they refuse to admit that a pattern of circumstantial evidence trumps a smoking gun. Whatever it is, it can be very frustrating for a team that perceives its leader as someone who ignores what they see as “obvious” – this is how grumbling starts. Yes, I acknowledge that there is often evidence a leader has that can’t be shared with others. So tell them that. I’m more concerned with a leader who explains away evidence because it’s inconvenient to acknowledge it.
  2. Have trust issues: Ah, trust. That oh-so-important-yet-rarely-mastered element of a highly functioning team. When a leader trusts too much or too little, the balance of the organization can be completely thrown off. I tend to think that trusting too little is a bit more damaging as I’ve seen its impact first hand, but trusting too much can lead to a number of the other behaviors on this list and can also damage a leader’s credibility. Trust is a combination of character and competence – once you’ve figured that out, leaders, you can go from there.
  3. Busad-pandally others / allow bullying: Yes – bullies are often insecure and act out because of fear. I don’t care – they’re still jerks who harm others and kill a culture. If you are a bully, stop it. If you know a bully, stop them. I don’t care how great the results this person might bring to the organization – I can tell you that in the long run, it is NEVER worth it. (SHRM members, check out this article on why bullies thrive at work.)
  4. Think “me first”: One of the more difficult aspects of leadership to wrap one’d mind around is that it’s not about you and your abilities any more – it’s about your team and their results. Some leaders aren’t able to make that leap, and it makes me sad because it robs a team of an opportunity to spread its wings, and it limits a leader’s ability to positively impact a greater part of the organization. It should always be about the team and about the company for leaders. (Oh, and guess what – if you’re an executive, your team is the executive team…not your organization.)
  5. Focus too much on who likes them: The reality is that at any given time, there are dozens of people who don’t like you. In fact, it could be in the hundreds or more, depending on your company’s size and industry. Get over it. USA Today recently shared this fantastic quote from Eleanor Roosevelt – “Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.” You’re never going to get everyone to like you, so focus more on making the right decision and feel confident you can stand by it for the right reasons.
  6. Don’t develop their people: Shame on you. Your people hunger for growth and thirst for knowledge. You’re unwillingness to develop your people is either lazy, petty, or both. I’ve always told leaders that their job is to train their replacement and/or find a way to help their people reach their full potential. If you don’t want to do that, then don’t be a leader. (By the way, read this post by Mike Figliuolo on becoming a talent exporter – great stuff!)
  7. Play favorites: We know…you love all your children equally, blah blah blah. Oh please – we all have a favorite or two. Some employees are special and you want to help develop them. That’s okay. What’s not okay is BLATANT favoritism – especially when it’s unwarranted and/or based on personal friendship. Leaders who blatantly play favorites put the whole organization in jeopardy because the wrong people are sometimes promoted or otherwise rewarded…and the good employees see that and leave. And that makes me sad.

Well, there you have it. My Top Ten (-ish) Leadership Behaviors that make me sad. Agree? Disagree? Think I missed a few? Let me know! Share in the comments or send me a note.

[Sad Panda graphic respectfully grabbed off the internet because I LOVE that South Park episode!!]

10 (-ish) things leaders do that make me sad: Part 1

Okay, this is a list that started out as 10 and then settled somewhere in the vicinity of 14 (I have editing issues), so I apologize for the length. Because it’s so long, I’ve broken it into two separate posts.

There are more of them out there, I’m sure – these are the ones that stand out to me because of the widespread impact they have on an organization.

So here, in no particular order, is the first half of my list:

  1. Fail to acknowledge their impact: Seriously – if you’re a leader, you impact your organization. Pure and simple. No ifs, ands or butts. So when a leader tries to pull the “do as I say, not as I do” crap, it just underscores a certain lack of awareness that leaders need to have to be successful. Don’t be surprised if your team throws each other under the bus when you do the same thing.
  2. Lie: This one’s a pretty obvious no-no, so why do leaders keep doing it? Well, according to research – we ALL lie and cheat…at least a little bit. But some people are LIARS (all caps – I know!) – they misrepresent their skills, their team’s skills, the facts, just about everything. When these lying liars lie, it impacts the business’s ability to make good decisions, destroys trust on all levels, and creates a culture that no one feels good in.
    oh the horror
  3. Avoid conflict: I know. Conflict is icky. People might get upset. Voices might be raised. Eye contact might be made. Here’s the thing – without conflict, there is no debate. With no debate, the wrong decisions might be made because a leader was scared to “rock the boat”. Healthy conflict is ESSENTIAL to innovation and good business. The really annoying bit is that leaders who avoid conflict are often the first ones to say, “I told you so” when something happens that they suspected but didn’t bring up. Boo on them.
  4. Treat “accountability” like a disease: As you know, this is my “thing”. So when I deal with a leader who is unable to embrace accountability, it really puts a little black rain cloud over my head. Lack of accountability comes in many shapes and sizes, but primarily boils down to two big categories – inability to accept accountability for something you did, and inability to hold others accountable for their actions. Both are damaging to the organization. A leader who keeps getting bad outcomes yet doesn’t see how he/she contributed to the situation will forever be blaming outside forces for their issues (unless, of course, it’s a successful outcome – then it’s totally that leader’s skills that did it, the aptly named “self-serving bias”). A leader who doesn’t hold others accountable doesn’t get results, tends to complain about their team a lot, and doesn’t understand why all the A players want to leave.
  5. Talk more than listen: Leaders who listen get amazing results – their employees know they can take anything to their leader and it will be considered. Doesn’t mean it will be implemented, but at least their voice will be heard. Leaders who talk too much are usually GREAT speakers. They are often external processors. All that is well and good, but watch what happens to a team when a leader talks and talks and talks – there’s usually only one voice in meetings, no one is willing to bring things to the leader’s attention, people hesitate when the leader asks for ideas. That’s because people assume the leader’s voice will overrule all others. And that’s not good.
  6. Roll their eyes: Listen, I’m a champion eye-roller. You can hear my eyes rolling from across the country when I think something is ridiculous. And it’s a horrible trait that I’ve worked hard to eliminate. The reality is that eye rolling is the manifestation of contempt – one of the most damaging attitudes. Leaders who roll their eyes are really just treating another person with contempt. They are sending the message that others are inferior to them, that they can’t be bothered to deal with that other person’s issues. It’s often an involuntary movement, but don’t think for a moment the other person didn’t notice.
  7. Gossip: People like gossip. It makes them feel like they are in the “in-crowd” because they have secret information. And even though employees prefer to get their information from their manager, they usually end up getting information through the grapevine, so I get that gossip is a learned habit reinforced by years in the workforce. When leaders gossip, though, it is incredibly damaging. A leader’s words carry weight – speculation and rumor become fact when someone in authority says it. So come on, leaders – show some respect to the absent and stop gossiping.

Want to read more? Continue on to Part 2!

Want to argue my points? Leave a comment.

Everything rustles… (how fear drives your people)

The impact of fear on the workplace typically comes from allegations of a hostile work environment, inappropriate manager behavior, too much stick and not enough carrot, etc. And yes, fear DOES impact the workplace in all those ways. What I want to talk about is the everyday impact fear has on the actions and decisions of managers and employees alike. It’s like death by a thousand cuts – one doesn’t take you down, but a whole lot of them over time is bound to beat you.

The title of this post comes from a quote from Sophocles (seems like a smart guy, so I am okay quoting him):

To him who is in fear everything rustles.

Think about all the rustling going on in your company. There’s a closed door meeting (rustle). The boss isn’t returning my calls (rustle). That person is getting more attention in the staff meeting (rustle). All of this fear is destroying your culture and creating behaviors driven by the wrong thing.  I’ve worked in environments where fear was a seen as a  “motivator” that should be used, and I’ve seen the impact it has on the company – from turnover, to recruiting, to business results, to culture.  It ain’t pretty.

afraidWhen actions are driven by fear rather than thought, you end up with dysfunction.  It’s easier to question motives and suspect a hidden agenda.  A leader’s primary purpose (to make the company successful) is discarded, replaced by a “cover my ass” mentality.  We’ve all seen it – hell, we’ve all probably fallen prey to it at one time or another.  Recognizing fear can be easy – overcoming it is the tricky part.

In his excellent book Your Brain At Work, David Rock uses the SCARF model to help illustrate what drives people either toward or away from a situation, and I like to use it to show how fear becomes the driver in all 5 areas:

  • S stands for status, your relative importance to others.  
    Fear of losing status can cause incredibly awful decision-making, like covering up mistakes, failing to develop their people (they might be better than I am!), forming inappropriate “alliances” amongst their peers, or worse – burying corporate malfeasance.
  • C  stands for certainty, the ability to predict the future.
    This is the reason people tend to run away from change – the fear of the unknown.  Fear driven by a need for certainty is what drives a lot of the gossip and “story-telling” seen in organizations, because people combat lack of certainty by creating a reality that they think they know.  Worse still is when decisions are based on the new reality (and you know it happens every day).
  • A stands for autonomy, which provides a sense of control over events.
    Fear in this area manifests in passive-aggressive behavior – people are afraid they don’t have control so they find a way to get it back, typically by NOT doing something you’ve asked them to do.  Occasionally fear causes people to act first, collaborate second because they fear that their choice in the matter will be taken away from them.
  • R stands for relatedness, or a sense of safety with others (think friend or foe).  
    Trust (or lack thereof) is a major cause of fearful behavior in business – I’m afraid I can’t trust you, so I don’t dare speak up/collaborate/engage in healthy debate/be authentic/you name it.  People are also afraid that they won’t be part of the “in crowd”, that they’ll be on the outside looking in.  This can drive inauthentic relationships, and cause people to act “fake” for the sake of fitting in.
  • F stands for fairness, which (no surprise) relates to the perception of fair exchanges between people.
    Leaders loooooove it when people talk about fairness (darn it, where’s that sarcasm font???).  As it relates to fear, though – a perceived lack of fairness in a situation causes people to fear that they’re in trouble, or they aren’t valued.  This can lead to active disengagement, undermining the success of others, or justifying lying/stealing because “the company owes me”.  They are afraid they aren’t getting “what’s fair.”

So start paying attention to what you’re seeing in your organization and see if fear is driving behaviors you don’t like.  And if fear is the “preferred” method of leadership, use SCARF to help address the issues.  Quiet the rustling in your world.

One last geek quote (but it’s a good one from Dune):

 Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

What examples of fear have you seen in your organization?  Share below!