A Tale of Two Leaders (why humility matters)

After sitting 8 hours in the cold to watch the Broncos lose to the Ravens in a game in which they inexplicably abandoned everything that got them there in the first place, I was in NO mood to watch, listen, or read anything about football in general and the Broncos in particular.  (Seriously, we practically had a media blackout in the house – we only caught the end of the Atlanta/Seahawks game because it was on in the store where we were shopping for a treadmill.  But I digress.)

Despite my desire to avoid any and all stories about the Broncos, I couldn’t help but click on this  article when I saw it on Yahoo!  It describes the post-game meeting between Peyton Manning and Ray Lewis.  (Another great article on the story can be found here.)  What struck me as I read about it was how difficult it had to be for Peyton to be there…to wait for what had to be forever to say goodbye to a respected competitor.  And the feeling of respect was mutual (the Peter King SI.com article quotes Lewis as saying he was missing a “great warrior”).  This was humility in action – leading by example, respectfully wishing luck to a longtime rival.  Peyton Manning is a leader.  Not in words, but in behavior.

Let’s contrast that with the debacle of the Lance Armstrong fall from grace.  Using his stature and his money and his power, he bullied and sued anyone who dared to speak the truth about him.  He was the face of an amazing foundation that gave a lot of people with cancer hope and support…and yet his actions said anything BUT leadership.  During is “apology”, he showed no contrition and a distinct unwillingness to hold himself accountable for his actions over the years.  Rather than show humility, he showed defiance.  As Dan Wetzel wrote in his article about the event, “After the first session the only question left unanswered is how he ever found so many friends to stab in the back in the first place.”

Humility is a powerful tool in the leadership toolbox – not as a manipulation element; rather, as a real and honest emotion that leaders can and should display in times challenge and in triumph.  A humble leader is a leader people want to follow.  A humble leader understands his limitations, and welcomes the contributions of others. When mistakes are made (and they will be made), a humble leader accepts them and learns from them – regardless of who made them.  Peyton Manning, through his actions away from the spotlight, shows a humility that people respect. (Except for maybe New England fans, but that’s their problem. But I digress…again.)

Despite the power of humility, too many leaders take the Lance Armstrong route – pretending they’re invincible, bullying others when they dare speak the truth, deny and cover up mistakes in an effort to remain “perfect”.  This can work…for awhile.  But what happens when the story unravels?  Suddenly, those who followed that leader simply walk away, cursing the lie they defended for so long.

Think about where you land on the humility continuum.  Are you willing to wait for an hour after a crushing loss to congratulate your competitor?  Or are you offering hollow apologies in an effort to protect your personal gain?  Where do you want to be?  The choice you make will impact your ability to lead.

I believe that the first test of a great man is his humility. I don’t mean by humility, doubt of his power. But really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not of them, but through them.
― John Ruskin

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike…

My husband has been playing Zork recently on his iPad, happily marching his way through the world, drawing his map as he goes.  I hate Zork and all its friends – smug little text adventures that don’t allow for creativity and a free spirit.  Sometimes it totally makes sense to feed the bird to the snake!  And yes, I DO want to try to kill the dragon with my bare hands, thank you very much.

Okay, let me back up and provide some context.  When I was a kid, my father brought home the mighty Osborne 2 Executive computer (the OCC-2 for purists).  It was splendiferous –  5″ x 5″ monochrome CRT screen, integrated keyboard, side-by-side 5-inch floppies…oh, it was a masterpiece, my friends.   Add an orange magnifying screen and hook that baby up to a dot matrix, and we were set for hours.  One of the more popular programs that took up our time was Adventure, a text-base game in which the protagonist (you) wandered around picking up clues and objects with the goal of navigating a network of caves in order to…do something.  I honestly don’t remember.  I don’t remember because I never seemed to get further than distracting the snake with the bird to open the door with the key, thus entering the caves…where I immediately get stuck.  From that point on, the game became me wandering about aimlessly, trying to escape the computer telling me, “You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike….”  No matter what direction I typed in, the computer just kept telling me, “You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike….” I think that experience was the beginning of my sarcasm skills – I kept trying to figure out a way to get the computer to respond in a creative way.  It never did, but I sure had fun trying.

So why is she telling us this, you may ask?  Because many times, our leaders become the Adventure computer game.  THEY know the best path through the network of caves.  THEY know what those random clues and objects mean – of course you should have picked up that staff you happened upon 2 hours ago.  Duh.  Even worse, some leaders assume there is only one path through the maze.  No matter how creatively you think about the situation, or what flashes of insight you might have that could allow you to instantly solve the issue, your leader insists that every step must be taken in a specific order – no step-skipping, no creativity.  Rather than provide us with clarity and help, our leaders often play the role of the computer, sitting back while you fumble your way through the workplace, claiming “I’m offering you development” when all you hear is, “You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike…”  And no matter what you say to your leader, he/she just keeps coming back with “You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.”

The resultant frustration experienced during such an “adventure” is enough to make even the most ardent among us want to reboot the game and start somewhere else.  Sometimes you might need to, but before you take that step, you can learn from the world of text adventure games to try and finish the journey:

  1. Know what you’re getting into: The first time I played Adventure, I had no idea what it was.  It was a computer game (what’s that?!) and it seemed cool.  So I gave it a try.  But I didn’t know that it was a slow moving, text-only “game” that relied heavily on the mythology of D&D.  If I had, I may not have been so eager to try…or I might have been more patient with the process.  Find out as much as you can about your leader (think of it as reading the back of the box for the summary).  That way you know a little more about what you can expect from this person.
  2. Take notes and learn from your mistakes: One of the rare benefits of a game like Adventure (and a leader who thinks that way) is that you can start to figure out the patterns of behavior that lead to bad results…and change them.  Took a wrong turn and ended up lost?  Write down what you did and then next time, do something else.  Failed to present your ideas to your boss in a way she likes and the proposal was shot down?  Write that down and next time, adapt your message to your audience. Eventually, you learn to anticipate moves because you’ve learned to recognize the pattern.
  3. Be specific in your communication: Nothing like FORTRAN programming to force you to be very specific and intentional in what you say.  Computers are so literal…and so are some leaders.  Take the time to really think about what you need from your boss – be specific, be clear, and be succinct.  You may be surprised by how well that leader responds to you.
  4. Use the invisi-clues: Okay, those are Zork-specific, but it still applies.  Invisi-clues were sections in the book that let you slowly reveal hints to help you past the tough spots in the game.  Your peers, and your leader’s peers, are your invisi-clues.  Don’t try to navigate every tough spot on your own.  Yes, it DOES help you learn, but sometimes you just need to figure out what the next steps are.
  5. Remember, it’s okay to shut down the game every once in awhile: Do you feel like you’ve been banging your head against the wall over and over, and you STILL don’t know what to do with that stupid scroll…er, document?  That’s what vacation is for – a chance to walk away for a little while.  If you can’t do a vacation, switch to something else for a little bit.  Give your brain a chance to think about something other than the twisty passages for a spell.  Your brain has an amazing capacity for finding the answers when you’re NOT consciously thinking about it.  Give it an opportunity to do so.

Whatever you do to get through your maze of twisty passages, just remember that it’s work – important, but just another part of your life.  Maybe you get frustrated, but find the elements that make you happy and keep trying to break the code.  No, I never seemed to make it out of that stupid maze, but I played that game for years, happily exploring the different paths that might lead me to…whatever the goal of Adventure was.  Each time, I got a little further before getting lost.  And I swear, once after hours of trying, the computer was proud of me…and said, “You are in a little maze of twisting passages…” – just to throw me a bone.

osbourne

The mighty Osborne 2 Executive (OCC2). Oh yeah….

 

Embrace your inner geek! (finding authenticity)

Can you name all 6 Star Wars movies (tag line and all)? Are you aware of the Star Trek “odd numbered movie” curse? Have you seriously debated Kirk vs. Picard, BSG vs. Firefly, Tennant vs. Smith? (That’s a Doctor Who reference, in case you didn’t know.)*

If you answered yes to any (or all…) of these questions, you’re a geek. Congratulations!  Geek-dom boasts a proud and varied host of members – intelligent, successful, overly friendly at conventions.  And yet, how do you react when someone pegs your geek cred?  Do you proudly proclaim, “YES. I. AM.”?  Or (like most people in corporate America who don’t work in IT) do you laugh it off, saying you must have seen the reference on SNL or something?

I bring this topic up because leaders (and the led) benefit from the ability to admit who they are to each other.  It touches on a level of transparency that is often missing from the office world, which in turn impacts our ability to see each other as individuals rather than archetypes that pepper business literature these days.  We must be professional, dress for the job you want not the one you have, network even if you’re an introvert, cultivate relationships, etc.  This is all good advice; after all, there is a certain expectations that leaders have.  Layered on those expectations, however, should be a willingness to show who you are.

“Leadership authenticity” is a popular topic these days (a current Google search listed 10.9M results) – strive to identify your core values and lead by them.  I also think it means to be true to yourself, letting your freak (or geek) flag fly.  When I think back to the leaders I’ve admired, they were typically people who knew who they were and weren’t afraid to show it.  There’s an immense level of confidence, and trust, in being willing to share your true self with those at work.  Not surprisingly, employees often respond to your willingness to share by lowering their guard and sharing something with you.  This pays off beyond simple relationship building.  I’ve found that teams who share something of themselves work better together, are more creative and productive, are willing to hold each other accountable, and feel comfortable with productive conflict.  But you can’t simply tell your team to share – you have to set the expectation…and lead by example.

Embracing your inner geek (or sports fanatic/car junkie/Kardashian stalker/whatever) might sound scary to some of you.  And for some of you, the culture of your current workplace means sharing your geekosity (shut up, it’s a word) would pretty much guarantee you never get that promotion you’ve been working towards.  If that’s the case, you have a choice to make – find ways to share who you are without jeopardizing your standing, or maybe find a culture that embraces the idea people can be who they are…and STILL produce quality work.

Still don’t believe in the power of the Geek?  That’s cool, I get it.  It took me awhile to get my geek on, too.  To help get you started, I’ve shared my top 4 reasons for why embracing my inner geek was beneficial:

  1. Builds credibility among the people who get work done: It’s important to connect to leaders in a company, I get that.  But how do you gain visibility with leaders?  By getting things done.  And you get things done by building relationships with the people who do the day-to-day – facilities, IT, help desks, copy rooms, studios, the guys in the field, etc.  To many of the, I was just another person from corporate (worse, HR from corporate)…until I showed I could hold my own in conversations about Star Wars, D&D, movie trivia.  I showed that I was willing to be myself, and that I was a real person.  As a result, I built informal networks that allowed me to get work done quickly.
  2. Forges a connection with employees: When I facilitate leadership workshops, I always tell the participants that they have to find a way to connect with every single person on their team.  It’s a reality of life that we won’t always “like” the people we lead – but it is our responsibility to respect them as a person, and find a way to relate to them on a human level.  Embracing my inner geek (which also includes a love of useless trivia) has allowed me to find ways to connect to my employees on a personal level, which not only builds a relationship but also gave me a chance to learn more about them.
  3. Annoys those people who refuse to admit they have an inner geek: You know who I’m talking about.  The people who claim they “don’t watch television”, and then want to talk about The Bachelor for 3 hours.  Sure, it’s a little petty, but I admit to a little giggle when I’m able to just be myself and they feel they need to pretend to be someone else because they think it will make them look cooler.  [Editor’s Note: it does not make you look cooler.]
  4. I’m happier at work: Listen, we are at work a LOT.  When you do the math to realize how much of your time is spent on the job, it’s a little depressing.  On second thought, DON’T do that.  Okay, the point is that it takes a lot of effort and energy to keep trying to act like you don’t watch Top Gear or have a basement full of Star Wars stuff or watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy as a marathon to prep for The Hobbit.  (Just for the record, I didn’t watch ALL of them, but I did reminisce about the animated version.)  Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to apologize for who I am.  Do I adjust my topics of conversation based on who’s in the room?  Of course – that’s just being a smart person.  But do I shy away from my geek roots?  Heck no.

As a leader, I know my people look to me for permission to be themselves.  As a follower, I look to my leader for the right to be who I am.  This is authenticity.

Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It’s basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating.   ~ Simon Pegg

geek_pride**

 

*For the record, Kirk was cooler, Firefly kicks BSG’s butt, and Tennant is the only Doctor to tempt me away from Tom Baker.

**Image borrowed shamelessly from this cool post.