Tag: managers

10 (really!) things leaders do that make me happy…or at least not cry

In my last post(s), I shared a number of things that leaders do that make me cry.  I figured it would only be fair for me to spread a little love into the universe and share some of the good things that leaders do (believe it or not, good things DO happen in the workplace).

I’ll admit…it was tough to not just write the opposite of the last list.  So I tried to think of some unique behaviors that positively impact the business and its people.  Don’t agree with them?  Think I’m missing a few?  Let me know in the comments!!

  • Has the team’s back: A lot of times, all an employee wants to know is that their manager went to bat for them.  When a leader fights for their team (whether it’s to stand up for an idea, speak up against a questionable policy, or push back when someone else tries to throw an employee under the bus), the team notices.  It makes a difference…and it shows that a leader understands the impact he/she can have on the team.
  • Collaborates across departments: So much of climbing the corporate ladder seems to stem from building an empire and then protecting your little fiefdom.  That’s why it’s so refreshing to see leaders who throw all that aside and work for the betterment of the entire company by reaching out across functional lines and work together towards a common goal.  (*sniff* I promised myself I wouldn’t cry!)
  • Challenges their people…the right way: Since a big part of what I do focuses on people development, I am always so happy when I see a leader willing to take a chance and give an employee a stretch assignment with the right amount of support.  It shows the leader believes in the employee, and it also shows that the leader isn’t willing to let an employee settle for “okay”.  Yay, leader!
  • Listens more than they talk: This is so hard for most people.  We like to talk about ourselves and listen to how darn smart we are.  So a leader who has learned how to wait and truly listen is one worth knowing.  When you listen as a leader, you encourage creativity, build morale, and make yourself smarter becausehappy_kitty you’re allowing your brain some time to process the input it’s receiving.  It’s AMAZING how different a team meeting is when the leader shuts up.
  • Hires people smarter than they are: It’s often said that Bill Gates wasn’t the smartest guy in the room…but he was pretty darn smart at surrounding himself with people who were better than he was at certain things.  (Ballmer it NOT this.  Just so we’re clear.)  A leader who hires smart people shows he/she is knowledgable about his/her limitations and is comfortable with them.  It’s about success…not ego.
  • Has a personality: Sometimes it feels like somewhere along the way it was decided that “executive presence” means being boring.  How wonderfully inspiring – you’re going to bore your people to death, but gosh darn it, didn’t you do it professionally?  I like a leader who isn’t afraid to show you who they are.  It gives others the permission to do the same, and helps build an important rapport and trust that will get a team through the tough times.  So fly a little freak flag now and then!
  • Sets boundaries: Showing personality doesn’t mean hitting every happy hour with the crew and posting buddy pics on Instagram.  I have worked with a number of managers who I call my friend…but while we worked together, there were definite boundaries around what was on or off limits in discussions about work and/or liberties taken.  I respected the heck out of these people while I worked for them (and still do) because their ability to set boundaries protected both them AND me – I knew they wouldn’t try to exploit our friendliness for their gain, just as they knew that I would understand why they couldn’t share everything.
  • Knows the difference between ‘fair’ and ‘the same’: Some of the most effective leaders I’ve seen understand this.  ‘Fair’ means considering each situation on its own merits, and acting accordingly.  ‘The Same’ means managing to the lowest common denominator.  Yes – consistency is important (I think about 1000 HR ladies just fainted, so I need to be clear about this).  But is it fair to make some exceptions now and then for an outstanding employee who has always gone above and beyond and works 55 hours a week without complaint?  I think so.  And here’s a hint: smart leaders seem to instinctively know how to set expectations and hold people to them BEFORE making exceptions.  Interesting, don’t you think?
  • Shows humility: Remember when Barry Sanders (RB for Detroit, for those of you who actively avoid sports) would score a touchdown?  He handed the ball to the official and then walked to the sidelines.  He acted like he’d been there before, would probably be there again…and understood that getting a touchdown meant he was doing his job – no more, no less.  (For more on Barry’s approach, here’s a great article from ESPN.)  Leaders can learn a lot from a guy like Barry Sanders.  Yes, celebrate your wins!  You and your team both deserve a moment of rest and reflection.  But the best leaders are ones who thank those who did the leg work, appreciate those who lent support, and acknowledge that sometimes it’s about being in the right place at the right time.  Just be authentic when you do it, okay?  False humility can do more damage than outright boasting.
  • Brings cupcakes and/or other assorted snacks: People like food.  ‘Nuff said.

So there you have it.  An ACTUAL list of 10 things that leaders do that make me happy.  Agree?  Disagree?  Got something to say?  Share it in the comments!

The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.
~Theodore Roosevelt

You da man! (whether you like it or not)

Once upon a time (1993), back when Charles Barkley was known better as a professional basketball player and not an analyst with a bad golf swing, he famously declared that athletes shouldn’t be role models.  Nike even made a commercial about it.  And while many people agreed with the underlying point the Round Mound of Rebound was making, the comment left a bad taste in the mouths of the public because the reality is that it doesn’t matter if you WANT to be a role model – sometimes you just are.

It’s the same for leaders.  You may think you were hired for your business acumen, or your ability to set a vision for the company and produce results.   Okay, you’ve got me there – you were hired for those reasons.  But there is another line in your job description that may or may not be explicitly stated.  As Uncle Ben tells Peter Parker, with great power comes great responsibility.  And that responsibility is  to be a role model to your organization.

superherokid

This idea – “the shadow of the leader” –  has been around for a long time, but was first studied in business organizations in Larry Senn’s 1970 doctoral dissertation (and his company Senn Delaney is still rocking the concept).    Remember when you were a kid and you used to dress up like a super hero?  Employees are kind of like that kid – they emulate the people they look up to, or who have control over them.

Here’s another way to think of it:

Think of a family tradition that has been passed down generation after generation.  It might be a phrase that everyone uses, a certain way you cook something, game night, anything. For example, when I make a pizza, I always cut it into squares.  Why?  Because that’s the way my dad always did it.  There is no real reason to cut a pizza into squares – in fact, some would argue it’s very inefficient.  But that’s how pizza was cut in my house, and so that’s how I cut it.

In your organization, you’re the one cutting the pizza into squares.

The leader of an organization casts a shadow that influences the group culture.  This shadow may be weak or powerful, but it always exists.  Whole organizations often take on aspects of the personality of a strong leader (think Apple, Microsoft, Southwest, Virgin, etc.).  It’s not so much that leaders force their style and values on others, but that employees tend to look upwards for clues as to what is important, how to get ahead in the organization, and how to fit in.

This is the power of the shadow in action – the power to shape and influence the character of an organization.  Do you know what kind of shadow you’re casting?

One of the best things about the shadow of the leader is that you have the power to control it – you can take specific actions that will help you cast the shadow you want in order to create the culture you want.  Below are some questions you can answer to help you be the leader you want people to emulate:

  • What are the elements of your shadow, both strengths (things you like) and challenges (things you dislike)?
  • What values, beliefs, and standards are in place within your organization because of these elements? Is that what you want?
  • What behaviors are you seeing in your employees as a result of these elements? Do you like them?
  • What elements of your shadow come from your desire to emulate a leader you had at one time?  Did you mean to make that choice?

Once you’ve answered those questions, you are ready to create an action plan for change, thereby taking control of your shadow.  Complete these sentences to create your action plan:

  • The elements I want to change in my shadow are…
  • It’s important to change this behavior because…
  • I will monitor my behavior by…
  • I will know I’ve been successful when…

If you don’t like the shape of your shadow, change it.  If you don’t like the shadow of the person above you, step out of it and create your own.  Whatever you do, be mindful of your actions – because (despite what Sir Charles might think) people are copying what you do, whether you like it or not.

We don’t choose to be role models, we are chosen.  Our only choice is whether to be a good role model or a bad one.

– Karl Malone (well said, Karl!)

“Tolerating” Failure

“Mistakes are the portal of discovery.” ~James Joyce

I was on the interwebs this weekend, trolling through different news sites, reading articles and the like, when I came upon this article.  It’s about a tattoo artist named Chris Baker who covers up gang and human-trafficking tattoos for free.  Chris, who is also a youth pastor, believes everyone deserves a second chance and that by offering a way to physically make a break from their past, these people can move on and correct the mistakes of their youth.

I share this because a) it’s an amazing cause* with the potential to change lives, and b) the story got me thinking about my own reactions to mistakes.  I’m talking specifically about my reaction to the mistakes made by others.  (To be clear – YES.   I MAKE MISTAKES.  I AM FULLY AWARE OF MY FAILINGS.  THANK YOU.  But we’re talking about my reaction, not my mistakes.  Besides, it’s my blog.  So there.)

oopsANYHOO, a little background….When I was in grad school, 3 semesters into an MBA that I absolutely hated, I went to the career center to talk to someone about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  If you’ve never been to a career counselor, you should know that while ultimately you may find it useful, the level of self-reflection, assessment, and analysis is fairly…what’s the word?…excruciating.   One of the exercises requires you to look back at every single job you’ve ever had and identify the reason why you left.  Granted, at that time there was a lot more movie theater retail/mom & pop businesses in there than there is now, but the process was very eye opening.  A big reason I moved on from jobs was because I couldn’t stand it when people did things in what I perceived to be the “wrong” way.  And that career counselor called me on it (dammit).  She said that unless I figured out how to view the perceived failures of others in a different way, I would never be able to stay at a job for longer than 1 year.

This was a pretty big deal.  After all, I wasn’t the one making mistakes – why should I change?  [Office Space moment: “Why should I change?  He’s the one that sucks.”] This kind person who probably had to deal with neurotic grad students all day pointed out the obvious fact I can only control my actions, not the actions of others (again…dammit).  And that really got me thinking – why am I so unwilling to accept the mistakes of others?

Well, long story short (too late), it turns out that I have a tendency to view forgiveness and moving on as “tolerating” failure.  I think that it somehow reflects poorly on me that someone made a mistake and I didn’t make a big deal about it. I expect people to not make mistakes that seem so easily avoidable (in hindsight) and somehow I’m disappointed when they do.  It’s even more pronounced when the mistake is made by a leader or a respected peer.  “Gee,” I think. “ Shouldn’t you have known better?”

The clever ones among you probably noticed the switch to present tense there – yes, I still struggle with making sure I view mistakes as opportunities to learn.  Every day, I purposefully think about the way I react, learning from my past mistakes and ensuring that I give people the freedom to do the same.  For those of you who struggle with the same challenge, I have a few tips:

  • Reframe, rephrase, reflect: Rather than thinking of someone’s mistake as a failure, I find it helpful to think of it as an opportunity to learn.  The learning opportunity isn’t just for the person who made the mistake; the whole team should take a moment to reflect on what role they played (if any) and how we can all learn from the process moving forward.
  • Don’t judge – even jokingly: Okay, I suck at this one.  I speak fluent sarcasm and it’s really hard for me to pass up a good joke.  I am also aware that it sends the wrong message.  Doesn’t mean I’m able to stop myself all the time, but I know I do it. And knowing is half the battle. (Go, Joe!)  Set the example with the team and assume positive intent – most people don’t make mistakes on purpose.  Besides, it takes a lot of guts to own up to a mistake, just as it’s embarrassing to be caught in a mistake.  Let the mistake-maker keep his/her dignity and address the issue.
  • Transparency is your friend: I try to be very open when I make a mistake – call it out, own it, and explain what I’m going to do to fix it.  In my mind, if we can remove the stigma of admitting to mistakes, we will gain more insight into what’s really going on in our business.  Does this mean immunity?  No.  Not all mistakes can be overlooked, and we still need to hold people accountable; however, encouraging transparency by practicing it can still help bring issues to light and move the business forward.

I suspect many of you may recognize yourself in what I’ve written here.  I share this with you because I think it’s important to build a culture where mistakes are embraced as opportunity, and where people can openly talk about what they need to do to be better without worrying that it somehow brands them for life.

*Note: If you’re interested in learning more about Chris Baker’s efforts with INK 180, you can read more about it here.