This isn’t Road House (when leaders can’t see past “my way”)

The title of this post references, of course, that iconic moment in Road House when Dalton (played the late, great Patrick Swayze) tells an unruly sort, “It’s my way….(dramatic pause)….or the highway.” It’s meant to be a macho moment and is absolutely appropriate coming from a bouncer at a seedy bar. When spoken by a leader? Not so great.

[Random aside: When verifying the name of Swayze’s character, I learned that the tagline for ‘Road House’ was “The dancing’s over. Now it gets dirty.” Isn’t that awesome?]

Where was I? Oh yes…most of us at one time or another has struggled with someone in authority telling us there is only ONE way to reach a desired outcome. And we all probably had the same thought – that’s dumb. Except in certain circumstances (SEC filing requirements come to mind), there are MULTIPLE ways to do something (think about tying your shoes – you can do the single loop, wrap around method; or opt for the double-loop and knot method; or even the old school Topsiders nubby-ended lace option). True, there might be a “best” way to do something, but that doesn’t mean you can’t try another way. And people HATE it when they’re told they can’t be creative or put their personal spin on something. It can severely affect engagement in the workplace, leading to lost productivity or even higher turnover (particularly among top talent).

So why do leaders get stuck in “My Way or the Highway” mode? And what do you do about it? So glad you asked!

Can’t let it go: You know the type. They say things like, “Well, when I did your job, I did it this way and it worked fine.” Leaders who do this don’t seem to realize that a) they aren’t doing your job anymore, and b) things change – technology, preferences, best practices – and it may be time to move one.
How to handle it: Thank them for sharing their experiences with you and tell them that you will really appreciate their input throughout the process. And then share the data/study/proof of concept that shows that another approach might be better.
Threatened: Sometimes leaders feel threatened by a good employee and will consciously or subconsciously work to sabotage an employee’s success. Yes. That is a sad, petty and fairly silly way to operate, but some leaders fall into the trap.
How to handle it: Recognize why your leader is doing this. It’s from a place of fear, not malice. And how do you combat fear? With information. Keep your leader in the loop at all times and do a lot of alignment checks. Help them feel like they are an important part of the process, and give them an opportunity to realize that your success is their success. And if your leader persists, document your conversations and work and ensure people know what you’ve been doing to keep the project moving forward.
Clueless: This is the leader who honestly has NO idea what it is you do. (Think “Pointy-haired Boss” from Dilbert.) While typically a benign figure, the clueless manager will insist on his/her approach because he/she saw it in a magazine while waiting in the doctor’s office. Honestly, this leader just gets in the way of progress, but beware of ignoring this leader – they control your budget!
How to handle it: Ask them why they think it’s a good idea. Then, steer the conversation in a way that will make this leader think YOUR idea is THEIR idea. Now you ARE doing it their way! It’s called a win-win.

Yes, some of this is a little tongue-in-cheek – because honestly, from the employee’s point of view, a leader who insists on only ONE way to do something is pretty ridiculous and thus reduces the leader to a caricature to be ignored and avoided.

It’s much more serious when YOU are the leader who insists there is only one way to do something. Don’t be that leader – examine your motivations, admit that you do it (and we’ve all done it), and work hard to be open minded. You’ll be rewarded with happier employees, better results, and a realization that there IS more than one path to a successful outcome. So don’t be Dalton – be a leader who can embrace the infinite possibilities of the imagination, let go of your ego, and embrace the team’s success.

Defining Success (or how to gamble the right way)

I was watching Storage Wars the other night (don’t judge me) and one of the featured buyers/characters made the comment that the day was a bust because he didn’t get any of the lockers. And it struck me that this person (“the gambler”) was looking at it from completely the wrong perspective.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the world of Storage Wars, a brief tutorial – when people don’t pay their fees on a storage locker for a certain amount of time, these lockers are considered abandoned and are offered up for auction. The bidders are not allowed to enter the locker or touch any contents – they get about 2 minutes to look inside and make a snap decision about bidding.

As you might have guessed, not all of these storage units are “winners”. Units that look like they are full of high quality boxes have been known to be filled with old newspapers. Occasionally there is a gem found among the lockers (old baseball cards, jewelry, rare books), but more often than not the bidders may only make $100 or even lose money on the deal.

So, back to “the gambler’s” comment that bothered me so much. Like most businesses, the storage racket would appear to live by the “buy low – sell high” philosophy, only in this situation, the buying is a very chancy proposition, indeed. In that particular episode, a number of the lockers went for $2,000+ – pretty tight margins for someone who relies on buying other people’s abandoned stuff. So wouldn’t you think that you might define success as making smart buying decisions and knowing when to NOT buy something?

A lot of leaders think like “the gambler” (and yes, it’s perfectly acceptable to be singing the song to yourself at this point). They define success as having a finished product, whether it’s a PowerPoint deck, software roll out, or a company-wide reorg – even if one of these is a bad idea. Or they define success as “winning” a conversation, shouting down the whole room and having the last word – even if it means abandoning the game plan. Sometimes success means NOT taking action – but you wouldn’t know that if you haven’t taken the time to think about it.

Leadership is a bit of a gamble at times. You don’t always know how your decisions will turn out. Good analysis may suggest a course of action, but then you find out the data was inaccurate. Depending on your hiring process, those candidates may look like a promising storage unit that you bid on, only to find out the fancy storage trunk hid a bunch of mold. We stay in it, though, for that occasional hidden treasure that experience and research tells us should be a good bet. The key is defining success the right way and sticking to it. A few thoughts:

If you’re gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right: Have you REALLY defined what success looks like, or are you relying on a flash of insight, a vague pie chart, or a dream you had last night? Do your homework, conduct some analysis, and define what success means…and stick to it!
You gotta know when to hold ‘em: Sometimes things start as clunkers (employees, projects, lunch plans). But if your plan is sound and you keep the long-term goal in mind (success!), it’s worth waiting it out a little bit. Don’t give up because you hit one road block.
Know when to fold ‘em: Conversely, don’t keep throwing good money after bad. This really is gambling and typically doesn’t end well for anyone. (Click here for a recent post about knowing when to pull the plug).
Never count your money when you’re sitting at the table: Okay, I really just wanted to use all the lyrics, but hear me out. Don’t assume you’re a success just because you had a good week, just as you shouldn’t assume you failed because you had a bad day. Stick to the plan and remember your definition of success. Wait until all the cards on the table before declaring something was a waste of time.

Listen, if everything was a sure bet, it wouldn’t be any fun. Just be careful that you don’t substitute smart thinking with chasing the “gambler’s high”, remembering that ONE time that your gut was right. Whether you’re a CEO, an entry-level analyst, or a dude who makes money buying abandoned storage units, your long term prosperity and general well-being relies on your ability to define success in a way that’s right for the business…and remembering it in times of frustration.

And THAT’S an ace that you can keep*.

*With apologies to Kenny Rogers

Ev’ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
‘Cause ev’ry hand’s a winner and ev’ry hand’s a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep.

Embrace your inner geek! (finding authenticity)

Can you name all 6 Star Wars movies (tag line and all)? Are you aware of the Star Trek “odd numbered movie” curse? Have you seriously debated Kirk vs. Picard, BSG vs. Firefly, Tennant vs. Smith? (That’s a Doctor Who reference, in case you didn’t know.)*

If you answered yes to any (or all…) of these questions, you’re a geek. Congratulations! Geek-dom boasts a proud and varied host of members – intelligent, successful, overly friendly at conventions. And yet, how do you react when someone pegs your geek cred? Do you proudly proclaim, “YES. I. AM.”? Or (like most people in corporate America who don’t work in IT) do you laugh it off, saying you must have seen the reference on SNL or something?

I bring this topic up because leaders (and the led) benefit from the ability to admit who they are to each other. It touches on a level of transparency that is often missing from the office world, which in turn impacts our ability to see each other as individuals rather than archetypes that pepper business literature these days. We must be professional, dress for the job you want not the one you have, network even if you’re an introvert, cultivate relationships, etc. This is all good advice; after all, there is a certain expectations that leaders have. Layered on those expectations, however, should be a willingness to show who you are.

“Leadership authenticity” is a popular topic these days (a current Google search listed 10.9M results) – strive to identify your core values and lead by them. I also think it means to be true to yourself, letting your freak (or geek) flag fly. When I think back to the leaders I’ve admired, they were typically people who knew who they were and weren’t afraid to show it. There’s an immense level of confidence, and trust, in being willing to share your true self with those at work. Not surprisingly, employees often respond to your willingness to share by lowering their guard and sharing something with you. This pays off beyond simple relationship building. I’ve found that teams who share something of themselves work better together, are more creative and productive, are willing to hold each other accountable, and feel comfortable with productive conflict. But you can’t simply tell your team to share – you have to set the expectation…and lead by example.

Embracing your inner geek (or sports fanatic/car junkie/Kardashian stalker/whatever) might sound scary to some of you. And for some of you, the culture of your current workplace means sharing your geekosity (shut up, it’s a word) would pretty much guarantee you never get that promotion you’ve been working towards. If that’s the case, you have a choice to make – find ways to share who you are without jeopardizing your standing, or maybe find a culture that embraces the idea people can be who they are…and STILL produce quality work.

Still don’t believe in the power of the Geek? That’s cool, I get it. It took me awhile to get my geek on, too. To help get you started, I’ve shared my top 4 reasons for why embracing my inner geek was beneficial:

Builds credibility among the people who get work done: It’s important to connect to leaders in a company, I get that. But how do you gain visibility with leaders? By getting things done. And you get things done by building relationships with the people who do the day-to-day – facilities, IT, help desks, copy rooms, studios, the guys in the field, etc. To many of the, I was just another person from corporate (worse, HR from corporate)…until I showed I could hold my own in conversations about Star Wars, D&D, movie trivia. I showed that I was willing to be myself, and that I was a real person. As a result, I built informal networks that allowed me to get work done quickly.
Forges a connection with employees: When I facilitate leadership workshops, I always tell the participants that they have to find a way to connect with every single person on their team. It’s a reality of life that we won’t always “like” the people we lead – but it is our responsibility to respect them as a person, and find a way to relate to them on a human level. Embracing my inner geek (which also includes a love of useless trivia) has allowed me to find ways to connect to my employees on a personal level, which not only builds a relationship but also gave me a chance to learn more about them.
Annoys those people who refuse to admit they have an inner geek: You know who I’m talking about. The people who claim they “don’t watch television”, and then want to talk about The Bachelor for 3 hours. Sure, it’s a little petty, but I admit to a little giggle when I’m able to just be myself and they feel they need to pretend to be someone else because they think it will make them look cooler. [Editor’s Note: it does not make you look cooler.]
I’m happier at work: Listen, we are at work a LOT. When you do the math to realize how much of your time is spent on the job, it’s a little depressing. On second thought, DON’T do that. Okay, the point is that it takes a lot of effort and energy to keep trying to act like you don’t watch Top Gear or have a basement full of Star Wars stuff or watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy as a marathon to prep for The Hobbit. (Just for the record, I didn’t watch ALL of them, but I did reminisce about the animated version.) Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have to apologize for who I am. Do I adjust my topics of conversation based on who’s in the room? Of course – that’s just being a smart person. But do I shy away from my geek roots? Heck no.

As a leader, I know my people look to me for permission to be themselves. As a follower, I look to my leader for the right to be who I am. This is authenticity.

Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It’s basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating. ~ Simon Pegg

*For the record, Kirk was cooler, Firefly kicks BSG’s butt, and Tennant is the only Doctor to tempt me away from Tom Baker.

**Image borrowed shamelessly from this cool post.

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