Leadership and Learning: Reading is fun!

I like to read books. A lot.

I’m that annoying person who, during the course of a conversation, will tell you 2-3 books you should read because they are really good and would probably solve all the world’s problems and what do you mean you don’t have any time to read?

I’ve always been like this, and I thought everyone was like this. As a new manager, I used to suggest books for my team to read ALL the time, and I was surprised they weren’t as excited about it as I was. They good-naturedly (mostly) gave me a hard time about it, and occasionally someone would read a book.

Here’s the thing – even if they NEVER read the book, they were exposed to different ideas that might change their approach or encourage them to do a little research about topics that interest them. Basically, I made curiosity an expectation.

It’s for this reason that I say leadership and learning need to go hand in hand. As leaders, it’s easy to be pulled in a number of directions and use the excuse you’re too busy to learn anything new. Poppycock. If you don’t have time to read, use your commute to listen to Audible.com. Seek out people you don’t normally interact with and ask them about their work. Have lunch with a person you admire. If you have the means, find a conference or two to go to and connect with others in your line of work – or even outside of your line of work to expand your horizons.

Once you’ve done all that to keep your thinking fresh and current…SHARE. Share with your team, share with your peers, share with the world (Twitter isn’t ALL about cat videos, you know).

[Note: I just finished reading ‘Contagious’ by Jonah Berger. Check it out. Great stuff about making a message viral.]

Like I said, I love to read. It’s how I learn, it’s how I share. If I tell you about a book I read and I think you should read it…it means I care about your development and think you have potential.

When my boss suggests something to read – as an employee I LOVE it. When I suggest a book to my team – as a leader, it’s my job.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.
– Maya Angelou

Got a book or interesting tidbit that you want to pass on? Share in the comments below!

Ode to #teamfaulkner (or, the one with the Hoosiers reference)

Not too long ago, I wrote about the importance of having a support network to keep you on track.

I have my own group – #teamfaulkner.

The concept was born out of the idea of having a personal board of directors. (I don’t remember where I first heard about it, but this HBR article is a good overview.) I had hit a point in my life and my career where I wanted to start thinking about the long-term, “what do I want to be doing for the rest of my career” questions, and I knew I wasn’t equipped to figure that all out on my own. I figured I’d put together an advisory committee of people who knew me from various aspects of my life, and I would use them to explore what I might be when I grow up. There wasn’t a timeline attached – it was basically an exploratory committee. I figured I had lots of time.

Reality had other ideas, and my job went away as part of a restructure.

It happens. It sucks when it happens, but it happens. The good news is that I already had a ready-made support team as I contemplated my next move.

#teamfaulkner helped keep me grounded after the surprise of the reorg. They offered support and acted as a sounding board for different options. They connected me to some amazing people who shared their thoughts on the state of HR and helped me explore various career paths. They made me laugh (a lot). They listened to me in my whiney moments. They took time to reach out individually as needed. They let me bounce ideas off them, sharing opinions on various interviews and job options. They told me what they thought while still leaving room for me to think it through. And they supported me when I decided on where to land.

They were great. They’re still great.

One of the #teamfaulkner members asked what I thought about the whole process. I asked for a little time to think about it, and this person said I should answer on my blog. So I am. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

I reached out to the right people: When I thought about putting this “board of directors” together, I wanted to pick people who knew me from a variety of viewpoints – people I’ve worked with, people who at one time worked for me, people I know primarily through the online community, consultants, practitioners, professors, all that stuff. This variety of perspectives has been invaluable to me; almost like a short-hand for debating all sides of an argument. Depending on the topic, they share a spectrum of opinions from conservative to “why the hell not?”
It’s okay to disagree with the #team: I wanted feedback, not an owner’s manual. So when someone on #teamfaulkner suggests something I don’t really agree with, it’s awesome because even though I’m not going to take that particular piece of advice, I had to think about why and articulate that “why” to someone else, thereby thinking through the decision-making process much more thoroughly.
It’s better to be specific in my requests: I have found it most helpful when I ask specific questions or am more precise in describing what my issue is. Shockingly, just saying, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!” doesn’t elicit the most useful feedback. I am also planning to ask #teamfaulkner to challenge me a little more. Part of it could have been the circumstances (no one wants to kick a person when they are down), and part of it could have been the way I framed the questions.
It’s not just about me: Ostensibly, #teamfaulkner is all about me (after all, it’s named after me). But what various folks have shared is that the group was helpful for them as well – whether it was practice coaching, learning from the advice of others, or being exposed to a new way of thinking through things.
I was unprepared for how much people would be willing to reach out and help: I’m a pretty independently-minded human being, which means I typically figure things out on my own. (Some people would say I’m ‘stubborn’…but I don’t talk to those people any more. Haha. Sort of.) When I reached out to a cross-section of friends from different walks of life, I figured I’d get a post now and then…maybe a “like” on my Facebook group. What I got was an amazing amount of support – thoughtful comments, emails, phone calls, texts, all that cool stuff. I am still in awe of, and incredibly touched by, the level of personal outreach I’ve received from #teamfaulkner. (This is for you.)

Now that I’ve started my next adventure, a couple of folks asked whether that was the end of #teamfaulkner. The answer – HELL NO. I will continue to rely on this group to guide me in my career and personal development. I want to keep making them visit the Facebook group and read silly posts. I want to keep learning from this amazing group of people. I want the group to continue to learn from each other. I want to tell them when I think they’re full of crap, and I want them to tell me when I’m full of crap (which they totally will).

In short, I want to keep in touch.

#teamfaulkner started as an experiment in leveraging my network, and it has grown into more. And I will continue to reach out to my team for as long as they will have me. It’s been an interesting process for me, and one I recommend for others who are looking to gain insight into their development. Who knows? There may be a book in it one day. (If the team is okay with it.)

It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.
~Napoleon Hill

I got 99 problems but failure ain’t one

Jason Lauritsen wrote this thought-provoking post on how we approach the concept of failure and why it has such a stigma in our society. He argues that failure doesn’t need to be something we fear – we should embrace it and move forward from it. (It’s a good post – go read it!)

This got me thinking about how we as a society in the US approach failure in general….particularly in the newer generations of workers. You hear the jokes about “everyone gets a trophy” or soccer games where no one keeps score. Because we don’t want our precious children to feel the sting of defeat “too soon”. Unfortunately, “too soon” easily turns into “ever”…and helicopter parents who earned an indulgent chuckle when their children are in kindergarten solicit anger and frustration from bosses who see the results in their employees. (Kathy Caprino expertly addresses the parenting aspect of business in this article on Forbes.com.)

Consider these things THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN A REAL COMPANY. WITH ADULTS.

A mother calls her 25-year-old son in sick at work, “because he needs his sleep.”
Parents of an intern call the HR department to ask what clothes they should buy their 21-year-old daughter for her summer at the company, even though the information was sent to the intern.
An employee calls his mother in the middle of a meeting with an HR manager to talk about what is going on…not once, but TWICE. (Seriously. This one amazes me.)

These rather extreme examples are a moment in the life of a person who has not yet learned how to cope with the demands of a corporate environment. But the fallout extends beyond these one-off situations, and it’s not just the Millennials displaying an inability to handle failure. Do any of these sound familiar?

A senior manager refuses to “rock the boat” and speak out against an initiative that he knows will damage the culture because he’s afraid of risk.
A vice president insists on full consensus for every single decision she makes because she doesn’t trust her own judgement.
A CEO yells and screams at his executive team when the stock goes down because he’s surrounded by idiots who can’t do anything right (or so he thinks).
An entry-level employee hates her job because she doesn’t get a promotion in the first 6 months.

We are a society of instant gratification. We are a society of limiting risk (unless we know we have substantial backup). We are a society that lacks perseverance in the face of repeated adversity. We are a society of people who think “Failure is not an option” is a rallying cry.

I’m here to tell you – failure is ALWAYS an option. Without failure, we would never be able to celebrate success. Without failure, we would never appreciate a job well done. Without failure, we would never be motivated to better ourselves. Without failure, we would never learn anything.

Failure drives us forward – but only if we approach it correctly. Here are some thoughts on how managers and employees (and yes, parents!) alike can harness the power of failure:

Acknowledge failure WILL happen: The idea that if you can go without a mistake for 60 seconds, you can go forever without one is ridiculous. Accept that failure at some point will occur and give yourself (and others) permission to fail.
Talk about failure: Talking about something helps to remove the stigma of that thing. By talking openly about failure, you help to create a culture where such transparency is expected and welcomed. There is nothing more powerful than a leader who admits his/her vulnerability, shares his/her failures, and then shares what he/she learned from it.
Bring options to the table: If you goof up, figure out how you’re going to make it better. Don’t just wallow in self pity (or freak out and hide). Start a dialogue about the situation so you can move on. Own up, share what you think contributed to the mistake, offer some options to rectify the issue, and solicit ideas from your stakeholder.
Fail once – and learn from it: While failure is a part of the process, repeated failure can be a sign of something else. I don’t mind an employee who keeps trying new things, isn’t 100% success the first time, but applies what he/she has learned to the next thing. I do mind an employee who makes the same mistakes over and over again and blames others for his/her inability to change.

If you spend any time in the working world, you’re going to experience failure, from either your actions or the actions of others. And some of those failures are gonna be doosies. Failure is not a problem to solve. It’s a lesson to learn. Our reaction to failure is what ultimately drives success. So will you seize failure as an opportunity? Or will you hide behind your inability to embrace what failure can do for you?

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.
– Michael Jordan

[Author’s Note: I know there are a lot of people who DO handle failure well. And that we all know of someone who has persevered, regardless of the odds. And to those people, I say “you rock.”]

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