Tag: success

You are who you THOUGHT you were! (a question of identity)

If you’re like most people, your life has been one identity crisis after another.

  • When you’re a little kid, you might have wanted to be astronaut, a doctor, a firefighter, a police officer….a stunt car driver.
  • When you’re in high school, you freak out because you’re a freshman – bottom of the social ladder.
  • When you’re a senior, you feel invincible – because you aren’t those puny freshman anymore.
  • When you’re in college, you decide you’re going to major in chemistry…no, pre-med…wait, art history…aw, screw it – business.

And then you start your working life for real, and you realize you’ve been answering the question, “What do you want to be?”, instead of, “What do you want to do?”

139580 green
He knew what he was talkin’ about.*

In our culture, we have learned to equate our job/career with who we are.  You can argue the rights and wrongs of this approach, but it’s a fact of life for most people in the working world.  I’m not here to debate pros and cons.  I’m more interested in honestly facing the impact our identity obsession has on our career decisions, and how acknowledging that fact can help us make better ones.

  • The Company: Whether it’s when you’re first starting out or are 20 years into your career, the name of the company on your business card can influence your choice. Do you join Google, even though the job sucks?  Or do you join ABC, Inc. – a relative nobody, but a nobody who will challenge and engage you on a daily basis? Easy money says you take the cooler sounding company because you know you have the opportunity to grow in an awesome organization.

    And yet…companies like Google are targeted by recent college grads, but not because of their job now, but because it will help them get a better job later. [Note: Peter Cappelli shared this thought in a presentation I saw 6 years ago – still searching for the link!]  Be honest about whether this choice is a destination or a stepping stone to something else.

  • The Path: At some point, you may be faced with the choice between remaining an individual contributor or angling for the management track.  A lot of people have no desire to lead others.  They like what they do, the challenge of the work.  The idea of dealing with the drama of others makes some people break into a cold sweat.

    And yet…some people think if they don’t achieve manager status, they have some how failed.  Is it enough to be “just” an expert in your field, or do you feel like you have to “prove” something…and maybe give up a piece of what makes you happy?

  • Title: Those in the know will claim title doesn’t matter, just what you do; and that truly happy employees are unconcerned with such trivial things as what’s on their business cards.  Plenty of us in HR and recruiting have rolled our eyes at the “Manager of Accounts” title that amounts to little more than a glorified salesperson.

    And yet…how many of us have faced those same recruiters and had to answer ridiculous questions about why you “took a step back” just because a title isn’t as cool sounding as as the responsibilities you have?  (Seriously, recruiters – you know better than to assume every company uses the same title structure!) It would be disingenuous to not acknowledge the influence that title has on our decisions.

  • Industry: My background has been in a lot of different industries – some exciting (VOIP, startups, alternate energy) and some not thought of as innovative (event planning, insurance, utilities).  Each industry I’ve worked in has taught me fascinating things and challenged me in ways I didn’t anticipate.

    And yet…there have been times in my past where I have hesitated to share what industry I worked in because it wasn’t the “hot new thing.”  If your identity is tied to being forward-thinking, envelope-pushing, and an all-around rabble-rouser, there can be some cognitive dissonance around the industry you choose to work in.

Each of us has made at least one decision (or more) in our career based on how we’ll answer the question “what do I want to be?” If we think we aren’t considering the coolness factor of a particular opportunity, and the way others might react when we’re talking at cocktail parties, we’re just fooling ourselves.

The ultimate sign of confidence and self-actualization may be the ability to simply share what you do when talking about your job…and being who you truly are.

We know what we are, but not what we may be.
-William Shakespeare 

 

*Because it never gets old to watch Dennis Green do this.

 

Are you serving ‘leadership a la carte’? Well, stop it.

Do you wish your boss would let you pick and choose which leadership behaviors you want?  What if your boss then chose to “charge” you for those services through overtime, extra projects, or even future raises?

What the what?

Allow me to explain.

While browsing on LinkedIn, I read this article by Christopher Elliott which talks about the new a la carte approach to air travel – tickets are all that are guaranteed.  Luggage, carry-ons, even water are now added revenue, and gosh isn’t it wonderful? Because this lets customers pick and choose which services they want to pay for.  Which is what EVERYONE wants (anyway, that’s what the airlines would like you to think).

When people pay for a ticket, there are certain things they take for granted as part of the flying experience – such as an opportunity to bring your luggage.  Or drink some water.  Most people would be okay with paying a slightly higher airfare for the illusion that they are getting the experience they expected (see Southwest).air-fees-color-web

So let’s take this back to leadership…employees don’t always know what leadership behaviors they need from their supervisors.  As a result, they are seldom able to tell a manager how they are best led.  Ask any employee what kind of managing style they do best under, and at least 92.3% of them will say, “I hate micromanaging.”  First of all, many employees think being held accountable is micromanaging, and second of all, some employees NEED micromanaging until they learn the job.  So do we still think employees know what they need all the time?

As a leader, you’re responsible for adjusting your style to the needs of your employee – which means you better be able to apply a lot of different kinds of leadership.  And employees expect that of you – it’s part of the social contract of the manager/employee relationship, not a “nice to have”.  Employees will put up with a tougher workplace, longer hours, and provide discretionary effort (the “higher ticket price”) when they know they have a leader who has their back and will step in with the right approach when necessary.

If you suspect you’re an A la Carte Leader and want to change, try some of the following:

  • Schedule regular 1:1s with your employee (even if they don’t want it!)
  • Establish a level of trust by LISTENING (novel concept, I know)
  • Study different leadership models and styles to increase your toolbox (e.g., Situational Leadership, The Leadership Challenge, Strengths Based Leadership, etc.)
  • Accept that you are there to make your employees successful and provide the support they need

Employees don’t always know what they want exactly when they need it, but they DO know when their leader isn’t providing what they need.  Rather than thinking of yourself as an add-on, remember that you are part of the entire employment experience – employees expect and need your support.  And if you fail to give it to them, they WILL move on.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” 
–Max De Pree

I get by with a little help from my friends

Do you have a safety net?   Do you have a network of friends who can help you through tough times?  Do you have a group of folks who can talk straight to you and tell you when you’re being an idiot?

If you don’t, you need one.

Leaders have a tendency to try and do everything on their own.  As a result, they often suck at delegating, struggle to communicate their vision compellingly…and aren’t too good about reaching out for help when they need it. And of all people, leaders (especially CEOs) need to avoid isolation – it can negatively impact the business.

support_picture

Regardless of your level of leadership, you can benefit from having your own personal support team.  I know this from personal experience:

  • Venting: Life is not always cupcakes and unicorns, which means you’re going to need to be able to complain and rage from time to time.  Your support group will listen and not judge…well, not much.
  • Accountability: A good support group calls you on your crap. They can also help you clarify and achieve your goals.  It’s good to have people around who can keep you on track.  They can also suggest actions to take to help get you to the finish line.
  • Sanity Check: This is similar to “accountability” but it’s a little more focused than that.  Your support team is there to throw out the red flag when they see you about to do something incredibly stupid.  It’s great to have that voice of reason when things go crazy.
  • Wisdom: As much as you think you know everything, you don’t.  Your support team can use their collective knowledge to help you break through your issues and move forward. So find some smart people for your posse!
  • Laughter: When you pick your support team, make sure you pick ones who have the same sense of humor as you.  And aren’t afraid to say inappropriate things.  And who know REALLY good jokes.

Just remember: you don’t have to go through this alone. Find your team and conquer the world!

PS – Shout out to #TeamFaulkner!  You know who you are.  And you are awesome.

Do you have a support network? What do you use it for?  Share in the comments!