Ode to #teamfaulkner (or, the one with the Hoosiers reference)

Not too long ago, I wrote about the importance of having a support network to keep you on track.

I have my own group – #teamfaulkner.

The concept was born out of the idea of having a personal board of directors.  (I don’t remember where I first heard about it, but this HBR article is a good overview.)  I had hit a point in my life and my career where I wanted to start thinking about the long-term, “what do I want to be doing for the rest of my career” questions, and I knew I wasn’t equipped to figure that all out on my own.  I figured I’d put together an advisory committee of people who knew me from various aspects of my life, and I would use them to explore what I might be when I grow up.  There wasn’t a timeline attached – it was basically an exploratory committee.  I figured I had lots of time.

Reality had other ideas, and my job went away as part of a restructure.

It happens.  It sucks when it happens, but it happens.  The good news is that I already had a ready-made support team as I contemplated my next move.

hoosiers#teamfaulkner helped keep me grounded after the surprise of the reorg.  They offered support and acted as a sounding board for different options.  They connected me to some amazing people who shared their thoughts on the state of HR and helped me explore various career paths.  They made me laugh (a lot).  They listened to me in my whiney moments.  They took time to reach out individually as needed.  They let me bounce ideas off them, sharing opinions on various interviews and job options.  They told me what they thought while still leaving room for me to think it through.  And they supported me when I decided on where to land.

They were great.  They’re still great.

One of the #teamfaulkner members asked what I thought about the whole process.  I asked for a little time to think about it, and this person said I should answer on my blog.  So I am. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  • I reached out to the right people: When I thought about putting this “board of directors” together, I wanted to pick people who knew me from a variety of viewpoints – people I’ve worked with, people who at one time worked for me, people I know primarily through the online community, consultants, practitioners, professors, all that stuff.  This variety of perspectives has been invaluable to me; almost like a short-hand for debating all sides of an argument.  Depending on the topic, they share a spectrum of opinions from conservative to “why the hell not?”
  • It’s okay to disagree with the #team: I wanted feedback, not an owner’s manual.  So when someone on #teamfaulkner suggests something I don’t really agree with, it’s awesome because even though I’m not going to take that particular piece of advice, I had to think about why and articulate that “why” to someone else, thereby thinking through the decision-making process much more thoroughly.
  • It’s better to be specific in my requests: I have found it most helpful when I ask specific questions or am more precise in describing what my issue is.  Shockingly, just saying, “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!” doesn’t elicit the most useful feedback.  I am also planning to ask #teamfaulkner to challenge me a little more.  Part of it could have been the circumstances (no one wants to kick a person when they are down), and part of it could have been the way I framed the questions.
  • It’s not just about me: Ostensibly, #teamfaulkner is all about me (after all, it’s named after me).  But what various folks have shared is that the group was helpful for them as well – whether it was practice coaching, learning from the advice of others, or being exposed to a new way of thinking through things.
  • I was unprepared for how much people would be willing to reach out and help: I’m a pretty independently-minded human being, which means I typically figure things out on my own.  (Some people would say I’m ‘stubborn’…but I don’t talk to those people any more. Haha.  Sort of.)  When I reached out to a cross-section of friends from different walks of life, I figured I’d get a post now and then…maybe a “like” on my Facebook group.  What I got was an amazing amount of support – thoughtful comments, emails, phone calls, texts, all that cool stuff.  I am still in awe of, and incredibly touched by, the level of personal outreach I’ve received from #teamfaulkner. (This is for you.)

Now that I’ve started my next adventure, a couple of folks asked whether that was the end of #teamfaulkner.  The answer – HELL NO.  I will continue to rely on this group to guide me in my career and personal development.   I want to keep making them visit the Facebook group and read silly posts.  I want to keep learning from this amazing group of people.   I want the group to continue to learn from each other.  I want to tell them when I think they’re full of crap, and I want them to tell me when I’m full of crap (which they totally will).

In short, I want to keep in touch.

#teamfaulkner started as an experiment in leveraging my network, and it has grown into more.  And I will continue to reach out to my team for as long as they will have me.  It’s been an interesting process for me, and one I recommend for others who are looking to gain insight into their development.  Who knows?  There may be a book in it one day.  (If the team is okay with it.)

It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed.
~Napoleon Hill

 

Are you serving ‘leadership a la carte’? Well, stop it.

Do you wish your boss would let you pick and choose which leadership behaviors you want?  What if your boss then chose to “charge” you for those services through overtime, extra projects, or even future raises?

What the what?

Allow me to explain.

While browsing on LinkedIn, I read this article by Christopher Elliott which talks about the new a la carte approach to air travel – tickets are all that are guaranteed.  Luggage, carry-ons, even water are now added revenue, and gosh isn’t it wonderful? Because this lets customers pick and choose which services they want to pay for.  Which is what EVERYONE wants (anyway, that’s what the airlines would like you to think).

When people pay for a ticket, there are certain things they take for granted as part of the flying experience – such as an opportunity to bring your luggage.  Or drink some water.  Most people would be okay with paying a slightly higher airfare for the illusion that they are getting the experience they expected (see Southwest).air-fees-color-web

So let’s take this back to leadership…employees don’t always know what leadership behaviors they need from their supervisors.  As a result, they are seldom able to tell a manager how they are best led.  Ask any employee what kind of managing style they do best under, and at least 92.3% of them will say, “I hate micromanaging.”  First of all, many employees think being held accountable is micromanaging, and second of all, some employees NEED micromanaging until they learn the job.  So do we still think employees know what they need all the time?

As a leader, you’re responsible for adjusting your style to the needs of your employee – which means you better be able to apply a lot of different kinds of leadership.  And employees expect that of you – it’s part of the social contract of the manager/employee relationship, not a “nice to have”.  Employees will put up with a tougher workplace, longer hours, and provide discretionary effort (the “higher ticket price”) when they know they have a leader who has their back and will step in with the right approach when necessary.

If you suspect you’re an A la Carte Leader and want to change, try some of the following:

  • Schedule regular 1:1s with your employee (even if they don’t want it!)
  • Establish a level of trust by LISTENING (novel concept, I know)
  • Study different leadership models and styles to increase your toolbox (e.g., Situational Leadership, The Leadership Challenge, Strengths Based Leadership, etc.)
  • Accept that you are there to make your employees successful and provide the support they need

Employees don’t always know what they want exactly when they need it, but they DO know when their leader isn’t providing what they need.  Rather than thinking of yourself as an add-on, remember that you are part of the entire employment experience – employees expect and need your support.  And if you fail to give it to them, they WILL move on.

“The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” 
–Max De Pree

Snark is the New Cool…and that may not be cool

One of the things you may not know about me is that I’m a bit of a musical theater nerd.  What this really means is I tend to be a singing snob.  Yeah…I’m one of those people.  It doesn’t mean I think I can do it better than other singers, I just get annoyed when singing isn’t done correctly. (Note to teachers of young singers – STOP MAKING THEM SING OUT OF THEIR NOSES!!!!!  Thank you.)

So when a live broadcast of The Sound of Music was announced with Carrie Underwood, I wasn’t terribly excited.  Nothing against her voice – I’m just not a country fan and I think sometimes she can be a little wooden in her performance.  And I love Julie Andrews.  Therefore, I chose not to watch.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t read a bunch of the comments made on social media on the interwebs.  Seriously, y’all got creative.  And some of you were funny.  And a little mean.

snark1

I was listening to Seth Speaks on my satellite radio (On Broadway channel – enjoy!) and Laura Benanti was a guest (she played the Baroness on the NBC broadcast, and starred as Maria in the Broadway revival…and she is amazing).  She was sharing some backstage stories and such, and Seth asked her what she thought about the comments made against Carrie.  And Laura threw down on the haters.

“Snark,” Laura says, “is the new cool.”   She pointed out that here was a person with the courage to try something she’d never done before…live…in front of 18 million people.  Instead of applauding her for it, and celebrating the fact that a major network took a chance to bring a new, younger audience to Broadway and music, the Twitter-verse used it as a chance to show off how clever it is.

No snark?
This stuck with me.  I love snark.  I enjoy the heck out of reading it, and I tend to engage heavily in the dishing out of said snark, too.  But Laura has a point – snark can get in the way of what you’re really trying to accomplish.  It can shut down people’s willingness to take a chance.  It can break down the feeling of “team”.  A lot of people who give snark can’t take it, so then you get a whiny snarker.  And while snark might be funny or make you look clever, is it adding anything of value to fix the perceived issue?  In short, snark can be extremely damaging.

What to do?
I’m not going to advocate going snark-free.  A little snark is like good satire – it points out that the emperor has no clothes and uses humor and shock to heighten awareness about a situation.  Matt Charney’s Snark Attack blog  is great!  So is Television Without Pity (spare the snark, spoil the network).  That snark IS cool.  And funny.  And thought-provoking. And change driving.

So if you consider yourself a snark aficionado (and who doesn’t, amiright?), use the next 30 days to pay attention to how and when you use it.  If your intent is pure and you’re working towards a greater good, snark away.  And a little snarkiness amongst friends can be fun!  But if you’re employing snark to put someone else down because it makes you feel better about yourself and you think it makes you look clever, stop it. You’re just being an asshole.